Happy, Happy 2014!
As we take time to embrace a new year, it is important that we also take some time and embrace ourselves. That is, give yourself a little pat on the back! A pat on the back for all the hard work you put in and the love you pour out as a mother.
Take some time to enjoy some activities simply because they make you happy! You as a person, as an individual with needs, beyond the all encompassing realm of motherhood!
“I mourn the life I had before I was a mother,” a dear friend of mine and mother of two beautiful young children articulated in a recent phone conversation of ours. These may seem like the words of a new mom burdened with the many duties and responsibilities of motherhood or from a woman adjusting to the idea of herself as a mother figure, but no!
These words come from a strong, devoted woman who always saw herself as a mother within her lifetime. A mother who chooses to stay at home with her young children, to raise them, to exclusively breastfeed, to grow a garden to provide her family with optimal nourishment, ultimately a mother whose greatest priority is providing her children with the best start in life she can!
What is it that calls her to mourn the life she had prior to becoming a mom?
It is apparent she finds her role as a mother most fulfilling! However, it is not the mother within her who mourns, it is the woman! The woman who spent her maiden days wandering through the forest, creating art and poetry, going to rock and roll concerts, baking birthday cakes for friends, and simply reading books, this woman inside grieves!
As fellow mothers, comrades on this spiraling journey, we understand all too well how few and far between moments meant for idleness and indulging in one’s passions come along. Most of us find joy in the simple pleasure of brushing our hair and teeth before leaving the house! When we can barely find the time for oral hygiene, where do our needs as women fall?
All too often our needs as a woman, within the mother, fall by the wayside. This neglect for the woman within us leaves us feeling frazzled, totally drained and mundane. The frazzled mother grieves for the woman who once ruled her days, not because she wishes to go back to that time in her life, but rather because that woman is still inside her begging to be indulged!
That woman calls to her from within! But, surrounded by the seemingly never-ending tasks of motherhood, her cries remain unheard and unanswered. When these calls remain unanswered for too long the results can be destructive; sadness and depression, hopelessness, and devaluation of oneself for not finding happiness in motherhood. At the end of the day there exists a mother and a woman who is unhappy.
This is a call to action!
Take the time to nourish your inner sacred reservoir! This sacred reservoir is the place where the woman in you resides. When your reservoir is depleted just getting through life’s daily tasks can seem daunting.
Conversely, when your sacred reservoir is full you are able to flow through each day in sink with the universe broad stepping daily inconveniences without a negative thought! In this fulfilled and optimally nourished state of being you are able to be the sacred blessed mother you strive to be!
How do I nourish my inner sacred reservoir?
The answer to this question is different for each mother and can be formulated by listening to the woman within! Some woman may require more creative independent time than others, while an indulgent bath may do the trick for some, a solo walk in the woods or a visit with old friends may be necessary for others. Only you can stake out the path, the perfect mixture of “me time” which will sustain you as a mother and nourish the woman within!
Be an advocate; recognize this need in other moms!
As mothers we are often able to recognize the signs of burnout in a fellow mother. Be the first to tell a friend, “It sounds like you need a break”. I find it helps to emphasize the fact that taking time out for your self is not selfish, but rather it is compassionate, because understanding your needs as a woman will allow you to find the balance you need to be a joyful mother.
Perhaps you can help out a mother in need by offering to host a play date at your place allowing her some free time or try to entice her with an afternoon out on the town while dad stays at home with the little one. Of course, we can always help each other by providing a shoulder to lean on, someone who will listen without quickly countering with how difficult your day as a mother was, a caring friend!
Whether you’re an earth mama or a rainbow mother, two cups of coffee to start the day or a strictly herbal type of gal, you have needs! Always take some time to nourish your inner sacred reservoir and listen to the woman within, after all she is wise and lives at the core of your being.
The thought of mothers looking out for mothers and creating a space of compassion, makes my heart full! It is my hope that we never lose touch with our inner voice, the woman within who guided us on our path to motherhood. May she be ever nurtured!
Till Next Time, Be Well!