Mothering
Mothering
How come you're nursing? You're not a tiny baby!
by Donna Bruschi on Feb 23, 2023
Recently, my 2 ½ year old daughter and I were at the library socializing with other children her age. A nursing toddler, a little girl, Rita’s size, caught her eye. She hurried over and asked “Are you nursing?” The mother replied “Yes.” politely, while the nursing toddler continued breastfeeding.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Dec 22, 2022
The commotion was suddenly halted by a sharp cry coming from our bedroom. At this point Rita, a very able-bodied walker, whom I had watched just moments ago wander through the doorway into our room, now stumbled back out, crying and holding her hand to her eye.
Mothering
Becoming a Mother Means Stepping into the Uncharted Territories of Your Heart.
by Donna Bruschi on Jun 09, 2022
You are leaving childish ways behind and integrating them into daily life at the same time. You will give up all you hold dear. You will have more fun and laugh harder at silly things. You will feel your heart expand with love and then break a million times over again.
Mothering
Maternal Archetypes- Earth Mothers & Creative Mamas
by Donna Bruschi on May 06, 2022
Over the last two years of raising Rita, my personal struggle has been to find the right balance between my nurturing and creative sides. Perhaps it is when we nurture our rainbow mother, that our inner earth mother is able to shine.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Sep 18, 2021
"I was the loneliest person in the world. My baby and I were spiraling down into a living hell..."
My baby cried all the time, refusing to be held by anyone but me. I cried all the time. The pain of the surgery amplified by cracked, burning nipples and the agony of frustration, sadness and betrayal.
And then it got worse.
Mothering
Mother to Mother - Keeping it Real
by Donna Bruschi on Aug 03, 2020
Who Loves YOU?
Your baby, of course.
Your partner, of course. Your friends... Of course!
How about you?
Do you love yourself?
Most of us do, but probably not all the time.
Maybe not even most of the time. Having a baby can exacerbate this lack of self love. Somehow, that little being brings out your worst: your impatience, your sadness, your anger, your low self esteem, your GUILT!
You fall into the comparison trap.
You see other mothers at their best. You watch TV shows and movies with "Mom Impersonators". Screen writers condemn and make fun of your very worst moments while highlighting the Instagram Moments. You start to think "That's how life really is".
You start to think there is something wrong with you.
Like when your baby cries and you can't soothe him? You start to think you have no milk, because your baby fusses at your breast, or because your breasts are small. You get anxious when your partner is due home, because you are still in your pajamas, breakfast is still uneaten on the table, and dinner is some sort of dim oasis, far on the horizon.
On days like this, you just want your mommy.
Not just any mommy... but June Cleaver, Mother Theresa and Aunt Jemima rolled into one. Someone who will Take Over, GET ALL THOSE THINGS DONE, and hold you while you cry.
Honey... I got news for you.
She's not coming. She doesn't exist and never has. If she ever did exist, she had staff doing her house work and probably drank to smooth the sharp edges of motherhood out of her mind.
So what is possible when you are miserable?
A dose of acceptance. A little, or a lot of, "letting go." Making some new friends who understand where you are at, and how it is with a new baby. Some taking care of your needs and putting yourself first, at least some times.
Most importantly, you have to ask for help.
People want to help you. They really do. See all those gifts, cards, emails, likes, phone messages, and texts? That is because they want to help. They want you to feel proud of yourself, because they are proud of you. They want you to feel good about being a mother.
Your job is to get over this mistaken belief that you have to do it all yourself.
It's not easy. Help doesn't always come in the right sizes, shapes and colors. Sometimes it comes with strings attached. Or guilt. Sometimes it's like a bag of hand-me-downs. You have to sort through it and take what works for you.
Sometimes, you have to be REAL specific about what you want
....with your mother...who didn't raise you, the way you are raising your baby. It's part of growing up and you can learn how to do it. She may grumble, or criticize (Painful!) but stick to what you want and she'll come around. Probably.
It really does take a village to raise a child.
And here we all are, in our little nuclear families with the two jobs, the big house and the big lawn and so much work to do on top of raising a baby. Something's got to give, and the easiest thing to go is your pride. Not your pride in yourself. That's important, but your pride in denying yourself a community that loves and supports you and your little family. Start small, say yes when people offer, and watch that community grow!
"Look what we made, Baby! We made a community... and they LOVE us!"
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Mar 23, 2020
We all had key adults in our lives who guided us as children. Every one of us had adults who cared about us, fed us, clothed us, disciplined, and encouraged us. It might not have been your mom or dad, but there was someone.
Mothering
You're OK - Be a Better Mom Without Doing Anything!
by Donna Bruschi on Jan 19, 2020
One year old Maya was taking her first steps when she abruptly face-planted, startling herself and bumping her head. Her daddy scooped her up and snuggled her in.
"You're OK! You're OK. You didn't hurt yourself. You are fine. You did it! You walked!"
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Nov 09, 2019
Parenting is the hardest job I've ever done. That sounds dramatic when I admit it out loud, but it is 100% true. My Mom tells me that parenting is not just the hardest, but also the most important job I will ever do in my life.
Mothering
Toddler Sleeping (Or Non-Sleeping)
by Donna Bruschi on Aug 10, 2019
Ember has now slept through the night 3 times...
...in her 18 month life – not 3 nights in a row, but rather once every few months we get a joyous surprise when we wake up, look at the clock, see it is 3 AM, 4AM, 5AM, 6AM and she is still asleep!
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on May 11, 2014
I wanted to discuss us Mamas! We come in all different shapes, colors and sizes Yet our emotions all follow the flow of the same river, the timeless flow of motherhood. As women, we come equipped in our mother’s womb with all of our living, giving powers.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Apr 28, 2014
With gardening season in full swing, my daughter’s seemingly exponential pace and zest for life, my husband in Manhattan for work, dog sitting, and my GMO education outreach here in town, my head has just slowed to a stationary position (from full on spinning for the last couple days).
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Dec 01, 2013
“Do you remember being in my belly?” I asked little Rita Cassidy. She responded with a quick “Yes!” So I ventured further into the mysterious world of prenatal memories and asked “What were you doing while you were in there?” To this she replied “Rita was eating toast!”
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Nov 17, 2013
I never could have dreamed that the sound of a “Plop” and a “Tinkle, Tinkle” would be like music to my ears. These, of course, are the sounds that fill our home when my daughter goes in her potty pot.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Jan 05, 2013
On a more mundane note, my thoughts have been scattered for, oh, about 17 months now . . .
I’m bringing this up because I just couldn’t figure out what to write for the newsletter and I realized it was because this is what was going on...
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Jul 26, 2011
Independence Day, 2011. Today is a bittersweet day that marks the end of an era. 17 years ago, I was a week overdue with my first baby. I was feeling heavy and nauseous, and not from too many hotdogs or Pina Coladas, either. I wasn't in labor, but I was sure wishing I was. It was a Monday--just like this year.
