Mothering
Mothering
What Do I Register For on my Baby Registry?
by Donna Bruschi on Apr 08, 2024
Ask any parent and you will get a confusing list of "must haves" and "must avoids" This is because we all have personal preferences, and guess what? So does your baby! So how do you buy a gift for a baby you've never met? And equipment for a game you've never played? Here's a place to start:
Mothering
Ringing in the New Year- A Time for Reflection
by Donna Bruschi on Jan 01, 2024
As mothers we sit in a unique position! We have the ability to mold and shape mind sets for our whole family. Isn’t it almost always true that a happy mom is a happy family! Going beyond self improvement we can work with our family to create goals and mind sets we would all like to work on in the New Year, providing our children with a valuable framework for their future!
Mothering
The Healing Energies of Children
by Donna Bruschi on Oct 06, 2023
Children offer us heart-centered healing energy. Next time you find yourself feeling down, or caught up in past emotional trauma, take a walk with your child. Hold their tiny hand and allow yourself to be healed.
Mothering
The Best Gift....Especially in a Pandemic
by Donna Bruschi on Nov 24, 2021
Holidays can be a hard time for anyone, but 2020 may be the worst of all.
It's Thanksgiving Eve.
According to NYS Governor, Andrew Cuomo, in his November 23, 2020 press conference, the best way to show your extended family you love them, is to stay home. NYS has a mandated limit of 10 person get-togethers. We are supposed to eat outdoors, wear masks, and shorten the visits.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Sep 26, 2020
By Donna Bruschi
You came to me as a small fish: frantic, untiring, unceasing
Swimming upstream to the place of your birth
Your only need, to reach the headwaters.
At that moment, I knew and surrendered
And a spring deep inside me sprang.
And I held you.
You asked me to fill a pond and I did.
In time, your incessant demands pushed forth a tiny stream.
Droplets skittering over my being, your essence seeping into my dust
Each day a new gush, another groove, cut and deepened
And still you spurted forth,
Carving me in ways I didn’t expect
You dribbled and babbled and always, I held you,
New shoots sprang up in your presence, needing tender care
The spring thaw always eroded.
Unearthing pebbles, then rocks
Carrying them, bump. bump.
While you gurgled and rushed, seeking the path of least resistance.
Gaining momentum, deepening, broadening
Overrunning your banks, flooding me
Gouging me, eroding my boundaries
Always shaping and cutting your own path.
Always following the path of least resistance
In your retreat, detritus and silt to be cleaned or absorbed
An aerial reveals switchbacks and impossible twists
That make no sense
Until you are walking the banks, walking the lay of the land.
An eddy formed, a deep swirling in my unceasing efforts to hold you.
I admired how the sun cracked into a million diamonds on your skin
You fell silent, biding your time, building strength, seeking an outlet
With a thundering roar as you exploded over the edge,
A thing of unimaginable beauty
My heart stopped as you went over
That unstoppable, terrifying, endless plummet
Only to land in another eddy, and me grasping, to hold you
Yet forward you moved, dragging rocks, trees, pieces of my heart
Your power fluid, spellbinding
I was awestruck, lovestruck…watching you go in your churning
You embraced, then sidestepped boulders
One day, I held you one last time and then, you were gone
The swells of the ocean pulled you in and you swam away.
I watched for awhile, sad and happy, adding my tears to the confluence
Grateful for the spring that still nourishes my heart
Mothering
Super Market Odyssey - On A Quest for Whole Foods
by Donna Bruschi on Jul 20, 2020
The creation of a child is a time when many parents take a renewed interest in the content of their diets, often starting in the supermarket.
For a couple eating fast food-to-go, it may be their first time in a supermarket, with the intention of preparing a meal from food, not a box. Another couple might start buying Certified Organic food and "shopping the perimeter," where the fresh foods are. And others might pass by the supermarket, headed for the health food store.
Shelf stable and highly convenient
In the supermarket, you are surrounded by highly processed, salty and sugary foods with dairy, palm, soy and high fructose corn syrup, in nearly every product.
In the health food store, you are surrounded by highly processed, salty and sugary foods with sea salt, soy, coconut oil and organic cane sugar in nearly every product. In addition, you can also supplement your diet with bottles of natural vitamins and protein powders.
Both places specialize in food products, not foods.
They are causing a health crisis in our community. We are now overweight and malnourished at the same time.
Food products are altered by manufacturing, chemistry, or genetics to remove undesired parts like bran, moisture, living bacteria, or cholesterol from a food. Or they are fortified with extra protein, iron, Vitamin D, calcium or Omega 3’s, whether or not Mother Nature intended the original food to have those.
In addition, they are processed to have a shelf life of several months, or years. They are preserved. If you leave them outside on your deck, you will find they break down very slowly, if it all. Shelf life renders them nearly useless as nutrition for our finely tuned digestive systems.
Let's take a radical departure from all that, and take a ride down to the farm.
Unlike the produce at the health food store which gets flown in by jet from commercial farms in far away California, Washington, Mexico and New Zealand, this food gets wheel-barrowed or tractored in from the rolling hills surrounding the barn. This food has a small carbon footprint.
And here are your farmers - It might be a couple with two little kids, or a couple of Ag students learning the ropes via mentorship, or it might be an extended family with Greats, Grands, Aunts, Uncles, Parents, Cousins and Kids.
They might be Michelin gourmet with 3 kinds of mizuna and 11 kinds of basil, or they might be country with piles of tomatoes, peaches, plums, pears, zucchini and apples. They might be meat farmers with chickens, cows and pigs. Or dairy farmers with a line of sublime cheeses and ice cream. They might even be brewing, fermenting, or distilling their hops, grapes and barley into tasty beverages.
Whatever they grow, they nurture and nourish with their experience, love and their sweat.
Whole foods look like how they come out of the ground, off the tree, or off the animal. An apple is an apple, no wax, all different varieties, juicy, flavorful and literally MOUTH WATERING. ShopRite apples aren't like this and Apple Fruit Rollups are definitely not at all like this.
And I say, there are no bad vegetables, only bad cooks.
Once you've eaten fresh from the farm, it's easier to switch from overly processed ‘food products’ to a diet rich in whole foods. Small farms rotate crops. They use manure and compost. They work the land, feed the land and then, let the land rest, so that it remains productive.
Shopping from local farms reinforces community!
Not only does shopping at the farm help your diet, but it also places your family back into the local food chain. Your hard earned dollars promote sustainable agricultural practices and stay in the community where they support Little League, the school Drama Club and food programs like Second Harvest.
Living in the Hudson Valley of New York, we have a wealth of locally grown and raised foods. For our family's health and the strength of our local economies, let us all work together and make conscious food choices, supporting our local farmers.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Nov 24, 2019
Holidays can be a hard time for almost everyone.
It's hard not to get caught up in the gift giving frenzy, the decorating, the cooking, or the planning of a special event. The expectations are overwhelming.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Jul 20, 2014
Memories from the womb… A story of the subconscious by Jasmine Wood
Hello Mamas!
I recently took a trip with Rita and her dad to Ithaca, NY.
This is the place where we lived for the majority of my pregnancy. After reflecting on our experiences there I have some interesting personal insight as to our time spent in the womb and how we carry experience and memories from our prenatal experiences.
Rita was conceived and carried in Ithaca, the land of waterfalls and gorges.
Throughout my pregnancy, I walked along the banks of many of these mesmerizing waterfalls finding comfort and peace in the water’s presence. My mind was quietly lulled into thoughtlessness, a simple pure state of being, by the sacred song of the river ever moving toward the sea. When I was seven months pregnant, we moved from Ithaca down to the Hudson Valley, where I grew up.
Like a salmon I followed the river home to give birth.
Rita was born in the same hospital I was, 25 years earlier, and our journey together with her in my arms, instead of in my belly, began! A few weeks ago, our little family took a trip back to Ithaca to visit some of our favorite sights, in particular, our favorite waterfalls.
As soon as Rita saw her first waterfall, her whole being became illuminated!
She literally glowed from within as she shouted “This is my favorite waterfall forever!” I was filled with joy that these sacred spots, that brought her father and me so much pleasure and contentment during our pregnancy, also held this special place for our daughter too!
We brought her back to the waterfalls of her days in the womb.
Something inside her recognized this place! I believe babies' subconscious memories begin to form from the moment of conception and evolve throughout pregnancy and birth. So when children are born, they already have a subconscious memory and internal impression of the world! I truly believe that Rita was soothed as a little fetus in the womb waters by the same external sounds that soothed her mama, the sound of the river and waterfall. Upon revisiting these sights years later, she was able to recapture the same positive emotions felt during her time in the womb!
Peaceful pregnancy, happy childhood, contented adult….
I feel that the first step toward life long well being takes place in the womb. By fostering an environment filled with love and joy and working to reduce stress we can create happy memories with our child that they will then in turn carry with them throughout their lives. My hearts feel full when I see a glowing smiling pregnant mama and I think of the little one within who is also smiling!
May peaceful vibrations radiate from you to your children and back again! Let us change the universe with love, one child at a time!
Till next time, Be Well!
Jasmine
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on May 25, 2014
This is the time of year you will most likely find my family in one of two places: in the garden, or out by the grill. For me, nothing beats a long weekend morning filled with the work of tending to the garden, followed by a restful afternoon under a shady oak tree, then finally, finishing up the day by grilling our dinner and dining outdoors!
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on May 18, 2014
By Jasmine Wood
“Isn’t it funny, how a bear likes honey. Buzz, Buzz, Buzz. I wonder why he does…”
This is one of my favorite lines from my daughter’s bedtime book collection! (Classic Winnie the Pooh) It is one of those story lines that always gets my mind working. It makes me think of the famous philosopher, Rumi’s quote:
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.”
Intrinsically, we find ourselves drawn to those things that make us feel fulfilled, just as Pooh finds himself drawn to the honey pot time and time again!
As women, many of us find ourselves silently drawn by the call of motherhood!
Some of us are ready to heed the call: "Procreate now!" Others, take time and are slowly enveloped by our most innate desire to form a family and home. Before, I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I knew deep down inside that I wanted to be a mother. I did not know whether I would enjoy this all encompassing role or not!
This is where Rumi’s silent pull comes from.
It comes from deep down in the core of our being, the call mutes any worries the mind might carry, and leads you mind, body and spirit down the path of motherhood. Perhaps, there are many bumps in the road, or instead it may be smooth sailing from thoughts of conception, to labor and delivery.
The many paths we follow as women to reach motherhood are important!
The importance is in the journey, and not just the destination. The path we follow will stay with us, and guide us throughout the trying times of parenting! I have these moments in mothering where I feel so ancient, as if I can tap into the energy of all my female ancestors before me. Our collective knowledge and life force can be my guide if I allow myself to stay open and fluid.
I must remind myself to be like a tree, strong and grounded, but yet flexible and able to move with the winds of change!
I find the winds of change blow strongly in motherhood; just I have mastered one stage of development, my daughter is moving full force into the next stage and it is time for me to create new strategies toward mothering her.
To say my daughter keeps me on my toes is an understatement!
Our home is not static, but a dynamic force of love and intense cycling emotions. We have strong up’s and low down’s but, we move through these rhythm’s together, listening and learning what we can, every step along the way.
Till Next Time, Be Well!
Jasmine
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on May 11, 2014
I wanted to discuss us Mamas! We come in all different shapes, colors and sizes Yet our emotions all follow the flow of the same river, the timeless flow of motherhood. As women, we come equipped in our mother’s womb with all of our living, giving powers.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on May 11, 2014
By Donna Bruschi
Today marks my 20th Mother's Day! I can't believe it! Actually, I can believe it. Its been a very full and wonderful 20 years of mothering.
What I really can't believe, is how much I don't like Mother's Day.
Part of it is embedded in my mom's experience. I don't remember a Mother's Day where she didn't end up in tears. Maybe she was unrealistic or naive? She was an only child and we were three!
Another part is that for me EVERY day is Mother's Day. I have spent a lot of time with my children and I still do a lot for them. They are first in my decisions of what to do. I breastfed for years with them. I opted to try for a homebirth for them. I stayed out of work and I went into debt to be home with them.
Most of it has to do with being with a man who criticized and made fun of me and my mothering.
Of all 20 Mother's Day's, not one came with a card from my kid's Father. No card. No breakfast in bed. No flowers. No appreciation. My Mother and Mother-in-Law showed their love on Mother's Day and I am grateful for them.
I am finally free of him.
In hindsight, I don't know what took so long. I compare myself to others who have left the father of their children, others who are starting over in new loving relationships and still others who have only known respect and encouragement from their partners.
Sometimes I cry when I think about what happened or wonder what I could have done differently.
What if I left when my kids were preschoolers? What if I paid the divorce lawyer with my credit card and did take my ex to court for a contested divorce? What if I understood how Family Court works and how much power I did have at that time? But I didn't. I was married "til death do us part." Divorce was unimaginable and with that belief came abuse.
That's where I get stuck.
How would I have known? I work with lots of families in transition now. They use Google and Facebook to find things. That works really well if you know the search terms. I didn't know the search terms. i didn't even know I had a problem. I thought what I was going through was NORMAL. And, abuse is the NORM, for one in four women in our society. But it's not healthy. And, with help, one can choose to not live that way.
What I needed was for someone to see the red flags and volunteer the information that I was in over my head.
For me, that someone was a therapist who listened to what was happening in my life and helped me understand the power and control dynamic and grow stronger. It was a counselor at Family of New Paltz who said, "You know, you can't stay in that relationship and there are people who can help you leave. We can make a plan."
That move changed my life.
It hasn't been easy. I wondered if I was doing the right thing because the less attached you are to your abuser, the harder they fight to keep you close. This is why you need a team of helpers. I had help from Family of New Paltz Domestic Violence counselors, the National Domestic Violence Hotline, New Paltz Police Dept., Maria Duncan, MSW, my kids, my parents, my siblings, my employees, and my friends. My team gave me a vision, encouragement, protection, money, physical help and love. I am truly grateful for all the support.
The biggest difference between who I am now and who I was 20 years ago is that now, I ask for help. Usually. Old habits die hard.
If you are in a relationship that hurts, know that while it is common, it is not healthy. Please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY). You should know that it's not your fault and you deserve to feel safe in your home.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mamas, from my heart to yours!
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on May 11, 2014
Your baby does! And... I do! And we both want to make sure you love yourself. One way you can do that is by getting out of the house and being with other moms who have babies the same age as yours.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Mar 23, 2014
This morning I woke up a warrioress!
When I looked in the mirror my face looked the same, my hair was falling in its typical messy, uneven way, yet something had changed…. As I looked deeper into my own two eyes I could feel the change deep down inside me, deeper than my bones.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Feb 17, 2014
Sometimes I want to cry and freeze time.
I exclaim, “Stop growing! Just for a little while! You’re so perfect just the way you are!” What I really want is not for Rita to remain a toddler forever, but rather I want to remember with every fiber of my being what these amazing years are like.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Feb 09, 2014
One day a hole opened up and through this hole fell Skywoman. As Skywoman fell, she left behind everyone and everything she had ever known. The only remnants of her whole world was a small bundle she clutched tightly to her chest as she fell, spiraling endlessly downward through darkness.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Dec 15, 2013
As we all transitioned from sleepiness to wakefulness, we watched as caribou ran gracefully through their tundra home. Then the documentary took a turn and we were all watching a mighty wolf hungrily chow down on one of the caribou!
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Nov 03, 2013
As we came to the middle of a bridge over a pond, we were surprised to see that on the other side of the pond were a mama black bear and her small cub. At first, she didn't notice us and went about her business of teaching her cub how to forage for food. Being a safe distance and separated by water, we were in a perfect position to observe this black bear family for a while.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Oct 25, 2013
What are some better titles for what we do? I prefer "professional multi-tasker specializing in damage control" or "personal chef to a person with peculiar eating habits" even "24 hour fresh & local milk provider"
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Nov 20, 2012
I realized that Ember and I had just spent the whole day in the house, and as the night drew near, I felt a little lonely. I committed to leaving the house the next day, even if it was easier not to! The weather is getting frostier and the days darker but I don't need to let it keep me and my baby burrowed in the house.
