Mothering
Mothering
What Do I Register For on my Baby Registry?
by Donna Bruschi on Apr 08, 2024
Ask any parent and you will get a confusing list of "must haves" and "must avoids" This is because we all have personal preferences, and guess what? So does your baby! So how do you buy a gift for a baby you've never met? And equipment for a game you've never played? Here's a place to start:
Mothering
Becoming a Mother Means Stepping into the Uncharted Territories of Your Heart.
by Donna Bruschi on Jun 09, 2022
You are leaving childish ways behind and integrating them into daily life at the same time. You will give up all you hold dear. You will have more fun and laugh harder at silly things. You will feel your heart expand with love and then break a million times over again.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Sep 18, 2021
"I was the loneliest person in the world. My baby and I were spiraling down into a living hell..."
My baby cried all the time, refusing to be held by anyone but me. I cried all the time. The pain of the surgery amplified by cracked, burning nipples and the agony of frustration, sadness and betrayal.
And then it got worse.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Sep 04, 2021
No matter when your baby is due, you are probably thinking of all the things you need to have done for baby’s first weeks at home.
Whether you are actually doing it is another thing..."PROCRASTINATORS UNITE!"
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Sep 26, 2020
By Donna Bruschi
You came to me as a small fish: frantic, untiring, unceasing
Swimming upstream to the place of your birth
Your only need, to reach the headwaters.
At that moment, I knew and surrendered
And a spring deep inside me sprang.
And I held you.
You asked me to fill a pond and I did.
In time, your incessant demands pushed forth a tiny stream.
Droplets skittering over my being, your essence seeping into my dust
Each day a new gush, another groove, cut and deepened
And still you spurted forth,
Carving me in ways I didn’t expect
You dribbled and babbled and always, I held you,
New shoots sprang up in your presence, needing tender care
The spring thaw always eroded.
Unearthing pebbles, then rocks
Carrying them, bump. bump.
While you gurgled and rushed, seeking the path of least resistance.
Gaining momentum, deepening, broadening
Overrunning your banks, flooding me
Gouging me, eroding my boundaries
Always shaping and cutting your own path.
Always following the path of least resistance
In your retreat, detritus and silt to be cleaned or absorbed
An aerial reveals switchbacks and impossible twists
That make no sense
Until you are walking the banks, walking the lay of the land.
An eddy formed, a deep swirling in my unceasing efforts to hold you.
I admired how the sun cracked into a million diamonds on your skin
You fell silent, biding your time, building strength, seeking an outlet
With a thundering roar as you exploded over the edge,
A thing of unimaginable beauty
My heart stopped as you went over
That unstoppable, terrifying, endless plummet
Only to land in another eddy, and me grasping, to hold you
Yet forward you moved, dragging rocks, trees, pieces of my heart
Your power fluid, spellbinding
I was awestruck, lovestruck…watching you go in your churning
You embraced, then sidestepped boulders
One day, I held you one last time and then, you were gone
The swells of the ocean pulled you in and you swam away.
I watched for awhile, sad and happy, adding my tears to the confluence
Grateful for the spring that still nourishes my heart
Mothering
Mother to Mother - Keeping it Real
by Donna Bruschi on Aug 03, 2020
Who Loves YOU?
Your baby, of course.
Your partner, of course. Your friends... Of course!
How about you?
Do you love yourself?
Most of us do, but probably not all the time.
Maybe not even most of the time. Having a baby can exacerbate this lack of self love. Somehow, that little being brings out your worst: your impatience, your sadness, your anger, your low self esteem, your GUILT!
You fall into the comparison trap.
You see other mothers at their best. You watch TV shows and movies with "Mom Impersonators". Screen writers condemn and make fun of your very worst moments while highlighting the Instagram Moments. You start to think "That's how life really is".
You start to think there is something wrong with you.
Like when your baby cries and you can't soothe him? You start to think you have no milk, because your baby fusses at your breast, or because your breasts are small. You get anxious when your partner is due home, because you are still in your pajamas, breakfast is still uneaten on the table, and dinner is some sort of dim oasis, far on the horizon.
On days like this, you just want your mommy.
Not just any mommy... but June Cleaver, Mother Theresa and Aunt Jemima rolled into one. Someone who will Take Over, GET ALL THOSE THINGS DONE, and hold you while you cry.
Honey... I got news for you.
She's not coming. She doesn't exist and never has. If she ever did exist, she had staff doing her house work and probably drank to smooth the sharp edges of motherhood out of her mind.
So what is possible when you are miserable?
A dose of acceptance. A little, or a lot of, "letting go." Making some new friends who understand where you are at, and how it is with a new baby. Some taking care of your needs and putting yourself first, at least some times.
Most importantly, you have to ask for help.
People want to help you. They really do. See all those gifts, cards, emails, likes, phone messages, and texts? That is because they want to help. They want you to feel proud of yourself, because they are proud of you. They want you to feel good about being a mother.
Your job is to get over this mistaken belief that you have to do it all yourself.
It's not easy. Help doesn't always come in the right sizes, shapes and colors. Sometimes it comes with strings attached. Or guilt. Sometimes it's like a bag of hand-me-downs. You have to sort through it and take what works for you.
Sometimes, you have to be REAL specific about what you want
....with your mother...who didn't raise you, the way you are raising your baby. It's part of growing up and you can learn how to do it. She may grumble, or criticize (Painful!) but stick to what you want and she'll come around. Probably.
It really does take a village to raise a child.
And here we all are, in our little nuclear families with the two jobs, the big house and the big lawn and so much work to do on top of raising a baby. Something's got to give, and the easiest thing to go is your pride. Not your pride in yourself. That's important, but your pride in denying yourself a community that loves and supports you and your little family. Start small, say yes when people offer, and watch that community grow!
"Look what we made, Baby! We made a community... and they LOVE us!"
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on May 28, 2020
How can families who breastfeed get the most sleep every night? And protect their precious baby from harm, while doing so?Soon after beginning breastfeeding, nearly every breastfeeding parent has fallen asleep while breastfeeding, without regard to safety. The stark warnings against sleeping with your baby, fade into a haze of exhaustion. It is a dangerous way of dealing with a life and death problem, that has a fairly easy solution. Setting up a safe sleep environment for your whole family, including your baby, is easy.
Mothering
The Myth of Sleeping Through the Night
by Donna Bruschi on Jul 20, 2019
Waking every hour or two to nurse ALL NIGHT LONG. Ugh. Whether you do it for a few days because your baby is teething or have been doing it for months or years, it takes a toll on you and you may wonder if you are doing the right thing.
Mothering
The Ten Barriers Of Breastfeeding
by Donna Bruschi on Jul 01, 2017
There are 10 barriers or challenges in breastfeeding that can get between a breast and a baby. The Big Latch On is a worldwide event that addresses most of these issues.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Nov 03, 2013
As we came to the middle of a bridge over a pond, we were surprised to see that on the other side of the pond were a mama black bear and her small cub. At first, she didn't notice us and went about her business of teaching her cub how to forage for food. Being a safe distance and separated by water, we were in a perfect position to observe this black bear family for a while.
