Mothering
Mothering
What Do I Register For on my Baby Registry?
by Donna Bruschi on Apr 08 2024
Ask any parent and you will get a confusing list of "must haves" and "must avoids" This is because we all have personal preferences, and guess what? So does your baby! So how do you buy a gift for a baby you've never met? And equipment for a game you've never played? Here's a place to start:
Mothering
Ringing in the New Year- A Time for Reflection
by Donna Bruschi on Jan 01 2024
As mothers we sit in a unique position! We have the ability to mold and shape mind sets for our whole family. Isn’t it almost always true that a happy mom is a happy family! Going beyond self improvement we can work with our family to create goals and mind sets we would all like to work on in the New Year, providing our children with a valuable framework for their future!
Mothering
The Healing Energies of Children
by Donna Bruschi on Oct 06 2023
Children offer us heart-centered healing energy. Next time you find yourself feeling down, or caught up in past emotional trauma, take a walk with your child. Hold their tiny hand and allow yourself to be healed.
Mothering
How Long You Gonna Breastfeed that Baby?
by Donna Bruschi on Mar 06 2023
Ending breastfeeding is full of emotions for you and your baby. It can be hard to be OK with all of your own feelings around weaning, let alone articulate and share them with random strangers and rude relatives.
Mothering
The Best Gift....Especially in a Pandemic
by Donna Bruschi on Nov 24 2021
Holidays can be a hard time for anyone, but 2020 may be the worst of all.
It's Thanksgiving Eve.
According to NYS Governor, Andrew Cuomo, in his November 23, 2020 press conference, the best way to show your extended family you love them, is to stay home. NYS has a mandated limit of 10 person get-togethers. We are supposed to eat outdoors, wear masks, and shorten the visits.
Mothering
Mother to Mother - Keeping it Real
by Donna Bruschi on Aug 03 2020
Who Loves YOU?
Your baby, of course.
Your partner, of course. Your friends... Of course!
How about you?
Do you love yourself?
Most of us do, but probably not all the time.
Maybe not even most of the time. Having a baby can exacerbate this lack of self love. Somehow, that little being brings out your worst: your impatience, your sadness, your anger, your low self esteem, your GUILT!
You fall into the comparison trap.
You see other mothers at their best. You watch TV shows and movies with "Mom Impersonators". Screen writers condemn and make fun of your very worst moments while highlighting the Instagram Moments. You start to think "That's how life really is".
You start to think there is something wrong with you.
Like when your baby cries and you can't soothe him? You start to think you have no milk, because your baby fusses at your breast, or because your breasts are small. You get anxious when your partner is due home, because you are still in your pajamas, breakfast is still uneaten on the table, and dinner is some sort of dim oasis, far on the horizon.
On days like this, you just want your mommy.
Not just any mommy... but June Cleaver, Mother Theresa and Aunt Jemima rolled into one. Someone who will Take Over, GET ALL THOSE THINGS DONE, and hold you while you cry.
Honey... I got news for you.
She's not coming. She doesn't exist and never has. If she ever did exist, she had staff doing her house work and probably drank to smooth the sharp edges of motherhood out of her mind.
So what is possible when you are miserable?
A dose of acceptance. A little, or a lot of, "letting go." Making some new friends who understand where you are at, and how it is with a new baby. Some taking care of your needs and putting yourself first, at least some times.
Most importantly, you have to ask for help.
People want to help you. They really do. See all those gifts, cards, emails, likes, phone messages, and texts? That is because they want to help. They want you to feel proud of yourself, because they are proud of you. They want you to feel good about being a mother.
Your job is to get over this mistaken belief that you have to do it all yourself.
It's not easy. Help doesn't always come in the right sizes, shapes and colors. Sometimes it comes with strings attached. Or guilt. Sometimes it's like a bag of hand-me-downs. You have to sort through it and take what works for you.
Sometimes, you have to be REAL specific about what you want
....with your mother...who didn't raise you, the way you are raising your baby. It's part of growing up and you can learn how to do it. She may grumble, or criticize (Painful!) but stick to what you want and she'll come around. Probably.
It really does take a village to raise a child.
And here we all are, in our little nuclear families with the two jobs, the big house and the big lawn and so much work to do on top of raising a baby. Something's got to give, and the easiest thing to go is your pride. Not your pride in yourself. That's important, but your pride in denying yourself a community that loves and supports you and your little family. Start small, say yes when people offer, and watch that community grow!
"Look what we made, Baby! We made a community... and they LOVE us!"
Mothering
How Long Are You Going to Nurse That Baby?
by Donna Bruschi on Jan 26 2020
Many mothers know the answer to this question before their baby is even born.
"A year"
"6 months"
"Until I go back to work"
"If I like it"
"Until my baby is 4"
It's a question with many answers.
Breastfeeding is feeding and so much more. Babies also nurse because they are tired, overwhelmed, lonely, thirsty, sick, in pain, bored, cold, hot, or 89 other reasons. Nursing at a mother's breast stimulates or calms all the senses. It creates and completes a safe habitat for a baby.
The obvious answer if you are a baby is "As long as I need to."
Most babies, if allowed, will wean without any help between ages 2 and 6 years. The normal course of breastfeeding offers many immune and health benefits, optimal nutrition (or complementary nutrition), and emotional security. It creates a bond between mother and child that is intuitive and intimate.
Mothers have reduced risk of breast and ovarian cancers and type 2 diabetes, have reduced fertility, have more stable hormone levels and many other benefits.
You may feel shocked or disgusted when you first learn about nursing toddlers or preschoolers.
Its just not something that happens often in the United States. It seems overwhelming when you are struggling to nurse a new baby, to think that you might have to do THIS for 5 more years.
As you continue nursing and it becomes more enjoyable, if you know someone else who breastfed longer, you tend to pay more attention to what your baby is telling you. When you learn that 17% of US children are obese, or someone in your family has breast cancer or lymphoma, you may also consider continuing, but the real change in your commitment happens when you are in a community that supports extended breastfeeding.
If you are planning on ending breastfeeding less than a year, you will find a lot of support, in our culture, for weaning.
Around 12 months, many babies lose interest in nursing because they are eating a lot of food, so they aren't hungry and they are busy learning physical skills like walking or climbing which take them away from mom.
At this stage, babies wean easily by substituting enough food, drink and other comfort measures. Not surprisingly only about 5% of American babies make it past this benchmark. If you encourage and offer the breast, you can keep all, except for the most independent baby, breastfeeding.
After one year.
There is a developmental shift that happens between 18 and 24 months where babies start returning to their mothers for comfort. if you are still nursing, you will most likely be very surprised to find that your previously independent toddler has started nursing as much as a newborn!
You may be alarmed and afraid that you have done something wrong. If you go with it, setting limits where necessary to keep yourself comfortable, this stage will usually pass into less frequent nursing over the course of a few months.
As the toddler grows, many mothers start to experience discomfort while nursing.
It might be physical because of gymnastic nursing moves, or a pregnancy. It might be emotional because of the greater intimacy demanded by the child.
Two and three year olds want to connect with you while they nurse. They claim your body as their own. They will stare at your body, insist on holding the other breast, have a fit if they can't nurse or hold the nipple or nurse in a particular position or side.
Probably there is nothing in your upbringing that has prepared you for this kind of relationship.
The closest experience you can probably compare it to is one with an adult sexual partner. When you do that, the toddler nursing relationship suddenly seems creepy and invasive. You just would not let a partner treat you that way.
That creepy feeling can be overwhelming.
It feels uncomfortable, really uncomfortable. Many women state: "I just want my body back." and quit.
Our American culture has totally skewed our definition of normal loving behavior. Intimacy in America is defined by candle-lit dinners, lingerie and sex. Many of us are not comfortable with our bodies and body fluids. We are not comfortable with others touching us, even in positive loving ways.
We are not comfortable with how much cuddling and touching babies need. We are not comfortable being a dyad with our babies.
Pay attention to what is happening when you feel uncomfortable.
Is it when you are home, alone, relaxing with your baby? Or is it when you have to answer questions about why your toddler is nursing.
Is it because you have a long list of things to do? Is it because of something that happened to you when you were a child?
Is it because you are pregnant or tandem nursing?
There are no right or wrong answers.
Extended nursing is a journey into yourself and what makes you tick. It consistently points you in the direction of having to be a more patient, compassionate, loving person.
Sometimes it makes you so angry or impatient that you can't take it anymore. You don't believe you can find any more patience.
When this happens, one thing that always helps is to look at your nursing toddler as a baby trying to grow up. Very few mothers set out to nurse a 4 year old, but they keep going because they see the baby in their child. That's good! Consciously relaxing during a breastfeeding session can help you be be that person.
Always remember that your body is your body.
You must have some rules about what happens to it. When you have this kind of clarity, your child may fight it, but eventually, they will do it your way. Nursing is too important to them and they don't want to lose it completely.
Another thing that helps is to have a friend or a mentor who can listen to you when you are ready to quit, which may be happening hourly or daily! They help remind you that all babies wean on their own when they are ready; that every minute you breastfeed really matters to your child; that this is a relationship between you and your baby; and that you can quit if you want to.
Babies take a long time to grow up.
Time plays weird tricks on your mind. Some things happen fast and some happen slowly. A nursing relationship creates a person who is compassionate and loving. It gives you an easy way to handle many, many situations.
It helps you to pay attention to your child and what they are needing. It makes it easy to understand and talk to your children even when they are older.
My job is to encourage and support you to nurse your baby. I would be thrilled if each and every one of you suddenly decided to nurse until your child was done. I know that's not going to happen, because many of you are going to have situations where you are going to think: "It is impossible to continue."
My question to you is: "Why is that?" and whatever you answer is the right answer.
My love to you and your family....
Donna
845-750-4402
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Nov 16 2019
“Mom, this card says ‘Don’t worry about Nancy anymore,’” Ember says, as she hands me a sticky note she scribbled on. I wipe away a drifting tear, and take it from her. “Thanks, sweetie. Why shouldn’t I worry anymore?” I want to know what is happening in her mind, partly because I’m feeling guilty.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Sep 21 2019
Ember and I made it to Montana! To recap, last week I talked about my anxiety surrounding flying with a toddler and I shared a few travel tips I’d gleaned from other mothers. Let me share how traveling with a one-year-old went…
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Nov 17 2018
Music Together: Babies is an introduction to Music Together® for the infant to crawler (0-9 mo.) and their parent/caregiver.
The music activities and materials are especially designed for parents who want to learn as much as possible about music development in infants. The music in this collection is compiled from other Music Together collections and is especially appropriate for infants who are not yet mobile.
Music Together: Babies is an introduction to Music Together® for the infant to crawler (0-9 mo.) and their parent/caregiver.
The music activities and materials are especially designed for parents who want to learn as much as possible about music development in infants. The music in this collection is compiled from other Music Together collections and is especially appropriate for infants who are not yet mobile.
Parents who take the Babies' Class are amazed at how much their baby responds to music and movement! Many parents report that their baby starts mimicking the Teacher's and parent's movements and really enjoy being in class with other babies making music.
8-weeks, 45-minute class, includes the Babies songbook, CD and digital download. The class is taught by Leslie Abdallah and other MT teachers
Leslie Abdallah, instructor
Leslie is an actress, singer and dancer who graduated from New York University in Music and Dance. Favorite roles include Ariel in the National Tour of The Little Mermaid and as a dancer for Liza Minnelli and Gregory Hines. Leslie currently sings with a contemporary choir and the children's band "Fuzzy Lollipop." Her Daffodil Dreams Lullaby CD is a favortive of parents and babies everywhere. Her two children, Abey and Geoffrey, are an inspiration to her music.
More about Music Together:
Music Together is an early childhood music and movement program that helps children develop their natural musical abilities by providing a rich, stimulating musical environment during the critical period between birth and four years. Through exciting weekly classes, quality supporting materials and parent involvement, Music Together inspires families to bring music-making back into daily life, giving children the foundation for a lifetime of musical expression and enjoyment.
An innovator in the field, Music Together began as an educational project of the Center for Music and Young Children in Princeton, NJ. It pioneered the concept of a research-based, developmentally appropriate early childhood music curriculum that strongly emphasizes and facilitates adult involvement. It is now being taught nationally and Internationally.
To Register: http://mhmusictogether.com/
Inside locations are spacious, beautiful and ventilated. Masks required for ages 3 and up. Teachers are 100% vaccinated.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Jul 20 2014
Memories from the womb… A story of the subconscious by Jasmine Wood
Hello Mamas!
I recently took a trip with Rita and her dad to Ithaca, NY.
This is the place where we lived for the majority of my pregnancy. After reflecting on our experiences there I have some interesting personal insight as to our time spent in the womb and how we carry experience and memories from our prenatal experiences.
Rita was conceived and carried in Ithaca, the land of waterfalls and gorges.
Throughout my pregnancy, I walked along the banks of many of these mesmerizing waterfalls finding comfort and peace in the water’s presence. My mind was quietly lulled into thoughtlessness, a simple pure state of being, by the sacred song of the river ever moving toward the sea. When I was seven months pregnant, we moved from Ithaca down to the Hudson Valley, where I grew up.
Like a salmon I followed the river home to give birth.
Rita was born in the same hospital I was, 25 years earlier, and our journey together with her in my arms, instead of in my belly, began! A few weeks ago, our little family took a trip back to Ithaca to visit some of our favorite sights, in particular, our favorite waterfalls.
As soon as Rita saw her first waterfall, her whole being became illuminated!
She literally glowed from within as she shouted “This is my favorite waterfall forever!” I was filled with joy that these sacred spots, that brought her father and me so much pleasure and contentment during our pregnancy, also held this special place for our daughter too!
We brought her back to the waterfalls of her days in the womb.
Something inside her recognized this place! I believe babies' subconscious memories begin to form from the moment of conception and evolve throughout pregnancy and birth. So when children are born, they already have a subconscious memory and internal impression of the world! I truly believe that Rita was soothed as a little fetus in the womb waters by the same external sounds that soothed her mama, the sound of the river and waterfall. Upon revisiting these sights years later, she was able to recapture the same positive emotions felt during her time in the womb!
Peaceful pregnancy, happy childhood, contented adult….
I feel that the first step toward life long well being takes place in the womb. By fostering an environment filled with love and joy and working to reduce stress we can create happy memories with our child that they will then in turn carry with them throughout their lives. My hearts feel full when I see a glowing smiling pregnant mama and I think of the little one within who is also smiling!
May peaceful vibrations radiate from you to your children and back again! Let us change the universe with love, one child at a time!
Till next time, Be Well!
Jasmine
Mothering
How Can I Leave My Baby? A New Mother’s Journey with Separation Anxiety
by Donna Bruschi on Jul 13 2014
“Would we be able to enjoy ourselves at the concert if our minds were elsewhere thinking about our baby and her well being?” An answer that could not be determined…For 6 months leading up to the concerts, July 4th weekend, I had mini panic attacks filled with separation anxiety at the mere thought of leaving little Rita.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on May 25 2014
This is the time of year you will most likely find my family in one of two places: in the garden, or out by the grill. For me, nothing beats a long weekend morning filled with the work of tending to the garden, followed by a restful afternoon under a shady oak tree, then finally, finishing up the day by grilling our dinner and dining outdoors!
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on May 18 2014
By Jasmine Wood
“Isn’t it funny, how a bear likes honey. Buzz, Buzz, Buzz. I wonder why he does…”
This is one of my favorite lines from my daughter’s bedtime book collection! (Classic Winnie the Pooh) It is one of those story lines that always gets my mind working. It makes me think of the famous philosopher, Rumi’s quote:
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.”
Intrinsically, we find ourselves drawn to those things that make us feel fulfilled, just as Pooh finds himself drawn to the honey pot time and time again!
As women, many of us find ourselves silently drawn by the call of motherhood!
Some of us are ready to heed the call: "Procreate now!" Others, take time and are slowly enveloped by our most innate desire to form a family and home. Before, I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I knew deep down inside that I wanted to be a mother. I did not know whether I would enjoy this all encompassing role or not!
This is where Rumi’s silent pull comes from.
It comes from deep down in the core of our being, the call mutes any worries the mind might carry, and leads you mind, body and spirit down the path of motherhood. Perhaps, there are many bumps in the road, or instead it may be smooth sailing from thoughts of conception, to labor and delivery.
The many paths we follow as women to reach motherhood are important!
The importance is in the journey, and not just the destination. The path we follow will stay with us, and guide us throughout the trying times of parenting! I have these moments in mothering where I feel so ancient, as if I can tap into the energy of all my female ancestors before me. Our collective knowledge and life force can be my guide if I allow myself to stay open and fluid.
I must remind myself to be like a tree, strong and grounded, but yet flexible and able to move with the winds of change!
I find the winds of change blow strongly in motherhood; just I have mastered one stage of development, my daughter is moving full force into the next stage and it is time for me to create new strategies toward mothering her.
To say my daughter keeps me on my toes is an understatement!
Our home is not static, but a dynamic force of love and intense cycling emotions. We have strong up’s and low down’s but, we move through these rhythm’s together, listening and learning what we can, every step along the way.
Till Next Time, Be Well!
Jasmine
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Mar 23 2014
This morning I woke up a warrioress!
When I looked in the mirror my face looked the same, my hair was falling in its typical messy, uneven way, yet something had changed…. As I looked deeper into my own two eyes I could feel the change deep down inside me, deeper than my bones.
Mothering
Holding my Baby Through the Long Feverish Night
by Donna Bruschi on Feb 10 2014
Perhaps the warm thaw of the last several days has you feeling like I do? I feel like there is an itch deep down that just needs to be scratched, the eternal itch for spring. The itch for new life, for many shades of green, the itch to spy a newly emerged crocus and to feel the caress of warm spring sunshine on your cheek!
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Dec 01 2013
“Do you remember being in my belly?” I asked little Rita Cassidy. She responded with a quick “Yes!” So I ventured further into the mysterious world of prenatal memories and asked “What were you doing while you were in there?” To this she replied “Rita was eating toast!”
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Oct 25 2013
What are some better titles for what we do? I prefer "professional multi-tasker specializing in damage control" or "personal chef to a person with peculiar eating habits" even "24 hour fresh & local milk provider"
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Sep 09 2012
Sometimes I like to think about some of my favorite things about being a mom. We know it can be a hard job, and for me, it’s important to think sometimes about the positive parts. Here are a few of the things I’ve thought about lately:
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Jul 26 2011
Independence Day, 2011. Today is a bittersweet day that marks the end of an era. 17 years ago, I was a week overdue with my first baby. I was feeling heavy and nauseous, and not from too many hotdogs or Pina Coladas, either. I wasn't in labor, but I was sure wishing I was. It was a Monday--just like this year.
