Mothering
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Aug 09, 2023
The quote of a wise individual comes to mind “There is no hurry bone in a young child’s body, you cannot rush a toddler.” In fact, when you try to rush a toddler it always seems to backfire and you spend even more time and end up with a frustrated child more times than not!
Mothering
How Long You Gonna Breastfeed that Baby?
by Donna Bruschi on Mar 06, 2023
Ending breastfeeding is full of emotions for you and your baby. It can be hard to be OK with all of your own feelings around weaning, let alone articulate and share them with random strangers and rude relatives.
Mothering
How come you're nursing? You're not a tiny baby!
by Donna Bruschi on Feb 23, 2023
Recently, my 2 ½ year old daughter and I were at the library socializing with other children her age. A nursing toddler, a little girl, Rita’s size, caught her eye. She hurried over and asked “Are you nursing?” The mother replied “Yes.” politely, while the nursing toddler continued breastfeeding.
Mothering
Becoming a Mother Means Stepping into the Uncharted Territories of Your Heart.
by Donna Bruschi on Jun 09, 2022
You are leaving childish ways behind and integrating them into daily life at the same time. You will give up all you hold dear. You will have more fun and laugh harder at silly things. You will feel your heart expand with love and then break a million times over again.
Mothering
Maternal Archetypes- Earth Mothers & Creative Mamas
by Donna Bruschi on May 06, 2022
Over the last two years of raising Rita, my personal struggle has been to find the right balance between my nurturing and creative sides. Perhaps it is when we nurture our rainbow mother, that our inner earth mother is able to shine.
Mothering
Wean Art: The Gentle Journey of Weaning a Toddler
by Donna Bruschi on Feb 04, 2022
At 25 months, our family weaned little Rita (Yes, dad played a big role too) from the breast. I knew it was our time, but yet as we moved closer to her last nursing sessions I felt uneasy. Reflecting on this, I feel it was fear of the unknown. As nursing was the one factor in our routines that had remained constant from birth to two years.
Mothering
Due Dates, Midwives and Old Wives Tales
by Donna Bruschi on Nov 30, 2021
Twins always arrive early. Right?
That's An Old Wive's Tale.
I look at my striated belly with the doughy soft puckers that have never flattened back into that gentle swell that used to be my belly.
If my twins had been early, I would not have this. At 36 weeks, my belly was a gigantic, unblemished orb. I had 1 or 2 stripes at 37 weeks.
Ar 39 weeks, my midwife and I were laughing at the incredible, angry red vortex radiating from my bellybutton. The stripes were something out of a science fiction story. Like a chick pecking the egg from the inside, it looked like my stomach was getting ready to rip open.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Sep 04, 2021
No matter when your baby is due, you are probably thinking of all the things you need to have done for baby’s first weeks at home.
Whether you are actually doing it is another thing..."PROCRASTINATORS UNITE!"
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Nov 18, 2020
I have been thinking a lot about trusting my instincts as a mother.
Sometimes that is easier said than done, especially when someone in an authority position (a doctor, a teacher, a specialist,) or someone whose approval I seek (my mother, my partner, my friend,) is telling me that something I am doing, is wrong.
It can be enormously frustrating and it recently happened to me.
Mothering
Nurturing the Child with a Cold
by Donna Bruschi on Oct 29, 2020
The warmth of the last several weeks has me feeling hopeful that the relentless cold and darkness of the coming months will not happen after all! The longer nights, shorter days, chill, and dampness depress me, and I find it hard to be happy, and even more, difficult to accomplish my daily tasks.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Sep 26, 2020
By Donna Bruschi
You came to me as a small fish: frantic, untiring, unceasing
Swimming upstream to the place of your birth
Your only need, to reach the headwaters.
At that moment, I knew and surrendered
And a spring deep inside me sprang.
And I held you.
You asked me to fill a pond and I did.
In time, your incessant demands pushed forth a tiny stream.
Droplets skittering over my being, your essence seeping into my dust
Each day a new gush, another groove, cut and deepened
And still you spurted forth,
Carving me in ways I didn’t expect
You dribbled and babbled and always, I held you,
New shoots sprang up in your presence, needing tender care
The spring thaw always eroded.
Unearthing pebbles, then rocks
Carrying them, bump. bump.
While you gurgled and rushed, seeking the path of least resistance.
Gaining momentum, deepening, broadening
Overrunning your banks, flooding me
Gouging me, eroding my boundaries
Always shaping and cutting your own path.
Always following the path of least resistance
In your retreat, detritus and silt to be cleaned or absorbed
An aerial reveals switchbacks and impossible twists
That make no sense
Until you are walking the banks, walking the lay of the land.
An eddy formed, a deep swirling in my unceasing efforts to hold you.
I admired how the sun cracked into a million diamonds on your skin
You fell silent, biding your time, building strength, seeking an outlet
With a thundering roar as you exploded over the edge,
A thing of unimaginable beauty
My heart stopped as you went over
That unstoppable, terrifying, endless plummet
Only to land in another eddy, and me grasping, to hold you
Yet forward you moved, dragging rocks, trees, pieces of my heart
Your power fluid, spellbinding
I was awestruck, lovestruck…watching you go in your churning
You embraced, then sidestepped boulders
One day, I held you one last time and then, you were gone
The swells of the ocean pulled you in and you swam away.
I watched for awhile, sad and happy, adding my tears to the confluence
Grateful for the spring that still nourishes my heart
Mothering
Mother to Mother - Keeping it Real
by Donna Bruschi on Aug 03, 2020
Who Loves YOU?
Your baby, of course.
Your partner, of course. Your friends... Of course!
How about you?
Do you love yourself?
Most of us do, but probably not all the time.
Maybe not even most of the time. Having a baby can exacerbate this lack of self love. Somehow, that little being brings out your worst: your impatience, your sadness, your anger, your low self esteem, your GUILT!
You fall into the comparison trap.
You see other mothers at their best. You watch TV shows and movies with "Mom Impersonators". Screen writers condemn and make fun of your very worst moments while highlighting the Instagram Moments. You start to think "That's how life really is".
You start to think there is something wrong with you.
Like when your baby cries and you can't soothe him? You start to think you have no milk, because your baby fusses at your breast, or because your breasts are small. You get anxious when your partner is due home, because you are still in your pajamas, breakfast is still uneaten on the table, and dinner is some sort of dim oasis, far on the horizon.
On days like this, you just want your mommy.
Not just any mommy... but June Cleaver, Mother Theresa and Aunt Jemima rolled into one. Someone who will Take Over, GET ALL THOSE THINGS DONE, and hold you while you cry.
Honey... I got news for you.
She's not coming. She doesn't exist and never has. If she ever did exist, she had staff doing her house work and probably drank to smooth the sharp edges of motherhood out of her mind.
So what is possible when you are miserable?
A dose of acceptance. A little, or a lot of, "letting go." Making some new friends who understand where you are at, and how it is with a new baby. Some taking care of your needs and putting yourself first, at least some times.
Most importantly, you have to ask for help.
People want to help you. They really do. See all those gifts, cards, emails, likes, phone messages, and texts? That is because they want to help. They want you to feel proud of yourself, because they are proud of you. They want you to feel good about being a mother.
Your job is to get over this mistaken belief that you have to do it all yourself.
It's not easy. Help doesn't always come in the right sizes, shapes and colors. Sometimes it comes with strings attached. Or guilt. Sometimes it's like a bag of hand-me-downs. You have to sort through it and take what works for you.
Sometimes, you have to be REAL specific about what you want
....with your mother...who didn't raise you, the way you are raising your baby. It's part of growing up and you can learn how to do it. She may grumble, or criticize (Painful!) but stick to what you want and she'll come around. Probably.
It really does take a village to raise a child.
And here we all are, in our little nuclear families with the two jobs, the big house and the big lawn and so much work to do on top of raising a baby. Something's got to give, and the easiest thing to go is your pride. Not your pride in yourself. That's important, but your pride in denying yourself a community that loves and supports you and your little family. Start small, say yes when people offer, and watch that community grow!
"Look what we made, Baby! We made a community... and they LOVE us!"
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Jun 15, 2020
By Lisa Bullard (Originally published January 2013)
First of all, Happy New Year!!!
May 2013 bring everyone much joy, harmony, and love!
On a more mundane note, my thoughts have been scattered for, oh, about 17 months now . . .
I’m bringing this up because I just couldn’t figure out what to write for the newsletter and I realized it was because this is what was going on:
Me thinking: I could write about how amazing language is and I . .
Me talking: “Wait! Ember, honey, we can’t climb on that shelf! Yikes! Here. Would you like to draw? Here are some crayons and paper.”
Me thinking: Okay, so yeah, I just can’t believe babies' drive to learn, and how we all had to learn to talk, and how much vocabulary we all store in our memories. I could write . . .
Ember: Holding a crayon dangerously near my eyes: “Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama.”
Me: “Oh, you want me to draw?”
You get the picture.
In fact, as a parent, I’m sure you also live the picture! Anyway, one day I finally hit a nap time when I had a chance to sit, think and write. I want to share that as I watch Ember learn to talk, I realize just how incredible our drive to communicate is! To think that we all had to learn the vocabulary we use word by word!
In hindsight, things make sense.
As Ember is able to communicate more to us, we are figuring out some of the reasons she cried as a baby. We always did our best, but sometimes just didn’t know what she wanted.
For instance, we were at a Christmas party with a table full of snacky foods. She started saying something, and whimpering, but because of the noise I couldn’t hear what she was saying. By the time I made out the word she was saying, she was heading towards a full blown cry.
“Cracker,” is what she had been asking for. Knowing her needs made the solution quite simple – give her a cracker. No problem. Crisis easily averted quietly and with no tantrum.
I love language!
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on May 28, 2020
How can families who breastfeed get the most sleep every night? And protect their precious baby from harm, while doing so?Soon after beginning breastfeeding, nearly every breastfeeding parent has fallen asleep while breastfeeding, without regard to safety. The stark warnings against sleeping with your baby, fade into a haze of exhaustion. It is a dangerous way of dealing with a life and death problem, that has a fairly easy solution. Setting up a safe sleep environment for your whole family, including your baby, is easy.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Mar 14, 2020
Most of us have nightmares about our children dying or disappearing, and truthfully, sometimes it happens. Many moms have had miscarriages or a "lost twin." Some chose abortion only to find themselves grieving. Others suffer through a baby or child's cancer and say goodbye, over and over again, until the child finally passes.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Nov 09, 2019
Parenting is the hardest job I've ever done. That sounds dramatic when I admit it out loud, but it is 100% true. My Mom tells me that parenting is not just the hardest, but also the most important job I will ever do in my life.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Sep 21, 2019
Ember and I made it to Montana! To recap, last week I talked about my anxiety surrounding flying with a toddler and I shared a few travel tips I’d gleaned from other mothers. Let me share how traveling with a one-year-old went…
Mothering
The Myth of Sleeping Through the Night
by Donna Bruschi on Jul 20, 2019
Waking every hour or two to nurse ALL NIGHT LONG. Ugh. Whether you do it for a few days because your baby is teething or have been doing it for months or years, it takes a toll on you and you may wonder if you are doing the right thing.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Jun 29, 2019
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Spray bottles, baby pools, water tables and buckets of water all work for splashing and exploring the cooling and magical qualities of water. Is there an easier pastime than cooling oneself off on a hot day in a local pool, swimming hole, lake, or river? Our area is full of natural places to take a dip, wade and play.
Mothering
The Ten Barriers Of Breastfeeding
by Donna Bruschi on Jul 01, 2017
There are 10 barriers or challenges in breastfeeding that can get between a breast and a baby. The Big Latch On is a worldwide event that addresses most of these issues.
