Mothering

Water: The Boundaries - New Baby New Paltz

Mothering

Water: The Boundaries

by Donna Bruschi on Sep 26, 2020
By Donna Bruschi   You came to me as a small fish: frantic, untiring, unceasing Swimming upstream to the place of your birth Your only need, to reach the headwaters. At that moment, I knew and surrendered   And a spring deep inside me sprang. And I held you. You asked me to fill a pond and I did. In time, your incessant demands pushed forth a tiny stream. Droplets skittering over my being, your essence seeping into my dust Each day a new gush, another groove, cut and deepened And still you spurted forth, Carving me in ways I didn’t expect You dribbled and babbled and always, I held you, New shoots sprang up in your presence, needing tender care The spring thaw always eroded. Unearthing pebbles, then rocks Carrying them, bump. bump. While you gurgled and rushed, seeking the path of least resistance. Gaining momentum, deepening, broadening Overrunning your banks, flooding me Gouging me, eroding my boundaries Always shaping and cutting your own path. Always following the path of least resistance In your retreat, detritus and silt to be cleaned or absorbed   An aerial reveals switchbacks and impossible twists That make no sense Until you are walking the banks, walking the lay of the land.   An eddy formed, a deep swirling in my unceasing efforts to hold you. I admired how the sun cracked into a million diamonds on your skin You fell silent, biding your time, building strength, seeking an outlet With a thundering roar as you exploded over the edge, A thing of unimaginable beauty My heart stopped as you went over That unstoppable, terrifying, endless plummet Only to land in another eddy, and me grasping, to hold you Yet forward you moved, dragging rocks, trees, pieces of my heart Your power fluid, spellbinding I was awestruck, lovestruck…watching you go in your churning You embraced, then sidestepped boulders One day, I held you one last time and then, you were gone The swells of the ocean pulled you in and you swam away. I watched for awhile, sad and happy, adding my tears to the confluence Grateful for the spring that still nourishes my heart
How Can I Leave My Baby? A New Mother’s Journey with Separation Anxiety - New Baby New Paltz

Mothering

How Can I Leave My Baby? A New Mother’s Journey with Separation Anxiety

by Donna Bruschi on Jul 13, 2014
“Would we be able to enjoy ourselves at the concert if our minds were elsewhere thinking about our baby and her well being?” An answer that could not be determined…For 6 months leading up to the concerts, July 4th weekend, I had mini panic attacks filled with separation anxiety at the mere thought of leaving little Rita.
Cry-It-Out - New Baby New Paltz

Mothering

Cry-It-Out

by Donna Bruschi on Jan 20, 2014
My mom (who had three kids, and apparently amnesia) asked more than once how I could stand it when all three kids were all crying. I would said, "This is nothing. I don't think it's bad until I'm crying."