Mothering
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Sep 26, 2020
By Donna Bruschi
You came to me as a small fish: frantic, untiring, unceasing
Swimming upstream to the place of your birth
Your only need, to reach the headwaters.
At that moment, I knew and surrendered
And a spring deep inside me sprang.
And I held you.
You asked me to fill a pond and I did.
In time, your incessant demands pushed forth a tiny stream.
Droplets skittering over my being, your essence seeping into my dust
Each day a new gush, another groove, cut and deepened
And still you spurted forth,
Carving me in ways I didn’t expect
You dribbled and babbled and always, I held you,
New shoots sprang up in your presence, needing tender care
The spring thaw always eroded.
Unearthing pebbles, then rocks
Carrying them, bump. bump.
While you gurgled and rushed, seeking the path of least resistance.
Gaining momentum, deepening, broadening
Overrunning your banks, flooding me
Gouging me, eroding my boundaries
Always shaping and cutting your own path.
Always following the path of least resistance
In your retreat, detritus and silt to be cleaned or absorbed
An aerial reveals switchbacks and impossible twists
That make no sense
Until you are walking the banks, walking the lay of the land.
An eddy formed, a deep swirling in my unceasing efforts to hold you.
I admired how the sun cracked into a million diamonds on your skin
You fell silent, biding your time, building strength, seeking an outlet
With a thundering roar as you exploded over the edge,
A thing of unimaginable beauty
My heart stopped as you went over
That unstoppable, terrifying, endless plummet
Only to land in another eddy, and me grasping, to hold you
Yet forward you moved, dragging rocks, trees, pieces of my heart
Your power fluid, spellbinding
I was awestruck, lovestruck…watching you go in your churning
You embraced, then sidestepped boulders
One day, I held you one last time and then, you were gone
The swells of the ocean pulled you in and you swam away.
I watched for awhile, sad and happy, adding my tears to the confluence
Grateful for the spring that still nourishes my heart
Mothering
Mother to Mother - Keeping it Real
by Donna Bruschi on Aug 03, 2020
Who Loves YOU?
Your baby, of course.
Your partner, of course. Your friends... Of course!
How about you?
Do you love yourself?
Most of us do, but probably not all the time.
Maybe not even most of the time. Having a baby can exacerbate this lack of self love. Somehow, that little being brings out your worst: your impatience, your sadness, your anger, your low self esteem, your GUILT!
You fall into the comparison trap.
You see other mothers at their best. You watch TV shows and movies with "Mom Impersonators". Screen writers condemn and make fun of your very worst moments while highlighting the Instagram Moments. You start to think "That's how life really is".
You start to think there is something wrong with you.
Like when your baby cries and you can't soothe him? You start to think you have no milk, because your baby fusses at your breast, or because your breasts are small. You get anxious when your partner is due home, because you are still in your pajamas, breakfast is still uneaten on the table, and dinner is some sort of dim oasis, far on the horizon.
On days like this, you just want your mommy.
Not just any mommy... but June Cleaver, Mother Theresa and Aunt Jemima rolled into one. Someone who will Take Over, GET ALL THOSE THINGS DONE, and hold you while you cry.
Honey... I got news for you.
She's not coming. She doesn't exist and never has. If she ever did exist, she had staff doing her house work and probably drank to smooth the sharp edges of motherhood out of her mind.
So what is possible when you are miserable?
A dose of acceptance. A little, or a lot of, "letting go." Making some new friends who understand where you are at, and how it is with a new baby. Some taking care of your needs and putting yourself first, at least some times.
Most importantly, you have to ask for help.
People want to help you. They really do. See all those gifts, cards, emails, likes, phone messages, and texts? That is because they want to help. They want you to feel proud of yourself, because they are proud of you. They want you to feel good about being a mother.
Your job is to get over this mistaken belief that you have to do it all yourself.
It's not easy. Help doesn't always come in the right sizes, shapes and colors. Sometimes it comes with strings attached. Or guilt. Sometimes it's like a bag of hand-me-downs. You have to sort through it and take what works for you.
Sometimes, you have to be REAL specific about what you want
....with your mother...who didn't raise you, the way you are raising your baby. It's part of growing up and you can learn how to do it. She may grumble, or criticize (Painful!) but stick to what you want and she'll come around. Probably.
It really does take a village to raise a child.
And here we all are, in our little nuclear families with the two jobs, the big house and the big lawn and so much work to do on top of raising a baby. Something's got to give, and the easiest thing to go is your pride. Not your pride in yourself. That's important, but your pride in denying yourself a community that loves and supports you and your little family. Start small, say yes when people offer, and watch that community grow!
"Look what we made, Baby! We made a community... and they LOVE us!"
Mothering
Super Market Odyssey - On A Quest for Whole Foods
by Donna Bruschi on Jul 20, 2020
The creation of a child is a time when many parents take a renewed interest in the content of their diets, often starting in the supermarket.
For a couple eating fast food-to-go, it may be their first time in a supermarket, with the intention of preparing a meal from food, not a box. Another couple might start buying Certified Organic food and "shopping the perimeter," where the fresh foods are. And others might pass by the supermarket, headed for the health food store.
Shelf stable and highly convenient
In the supermarket, you are surrounded by highly processed, salty and sugary foods with dairy, palm, soy and high fructose corn syrup, in nearly every product.
In the health food store, you are surrounded by highly processed, salty and sugary foods with sea salt, soy, coconut oil and organic cane sugar in nearly every product. In addition, you can also supplement your diet with bottles of natural vitamins and protein powders.
Both places specialize in food products, not foods.
They are causing a health crisis in our community. We are now overweight and malnourished at the same time.
Food products are altered by manufacturing, chemistry, or genetics to remove undesired parts like bran, moisture, living bacteria, or cholesterol from a food. Or they are fortified with extra protein, iron, Vitamin D, calcium or Omega 3’s, whether or not Mother Nature intended the original food to have those.
In addition, they are processed to have a shelf life of several months, or years. They are preserved. If you leave them outside on your deck, you will find they break down very slowly, if it all. Shelf life renders them nearly useless as nutrition for our finely tuned digestive systems.
Let's take a radical departure from all that, and take a ride down to the farm.
Unlike the produce at the health food store which gets flown in by jet from commercial farms in far away California, Washington, Mexico and New Zealand, this food gets wheel-barrowed or tractored in from the rolling hills surrounding the barn. This food has a small carbon footprint.
And here are your farmers - It might be a couple with two little kids, or a couple of Ag students learning the ropes via mentorship, or it might be an extended family with Greats, Grands, Aunts, Uncles, Parents, Cousins and Kids.
They might be Michelin gourmet with 3 kinds of mizuna and 11 kinds of basil, or they might be country with piles of tomatoes, peaches, plums, pears, zucchini and apples. They might be meat farmers with chickens, cows and pigs. Or dairy farmers with a line of sublime cheeses and ice cream. They might even be brewing, fermenting, or distilling their hops, grapes and barley into tasty beverages.
Whatever they grow, they nurture and nourish with their experience, love and their sweat.
Whole foods look like how they come out of the ground, off the tree, or off the animal. An apple is an apple, no wax, all different varieties, juicy, flavorful and literally MOUTH WATERING. ShopRite apples aren't like this and Apple Fruit Rollups are definitely not at all like this.
And I say, there are no bad vegetables, only bad cooks.
Once you've eaten fresh from the farm, it's easier to switch from overly processed ‘food products’ to a diet rich in whole foods. Small farms rotate crops. They use manure and compost. They work the land, feed the land and then, let the land rest, so that it remains productive.
Shopping from local farms reinforces community!
Not only does shopping at the farm help your diet, but it also places your family back into the local food chain. Your hard earned dollars promote sustainable agricultural practices and stay in the community where they support Little League, the school Drama Club and food programs like Second Harvest.
Living in the Hudson Valley of New York, we have a wealth of locally grown and raised foods. For our family's health and the strength of our local economies, let us all work together and make conscious food choices, supporting our local farmers.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Jul 20, 2014
Memories from the womb… A story of the subconscious by Jasmine Wood
Hello Mamas!
I recently took a trip with Rita and her dad to Ithaca, NY.
This is the place where we lived for the majority of my pregnancy. After reflecting on our experiences there I have some interesting personal insight as to our time spent in the womb and how we carry experience and memories from our prenatal experiences.
Rita was conceived and carried in Ithaca, the land of waterfalls and gorges.
Throughout my pregnancy, I walked along the banks of many of these mesmerizing waterfalls finding comfort and peace in the water’s presence. My mind was quietly lulled into thoughtlessness, a simple pure state of being, by the sacred song of the river ever moving toward the sea. When I was seven months pregnant, we moved from Ithaca down to the Hudson Valley, where I grew up.
Like a salmon I followed the river home to give birth.
Rita was born in the same hospital I was, 25 years earlier, and our journey together with her in my arms, instead of in my belly, began! A few weeks ago, our little family took a trip back to Ithaca to visit some of our favorite sights, in particular, our favorite waterfalls.
As soon as Rita saw her first waterfall, her whole being became illuminated!
She literally glowed from within as she shouted “This is my favorite waterfall forever!” I was filled with joy that these sacred spots, that brought her father and me so much pleasure and contentment during our pregnancy, also held this special place for our daughter too!
We brought her back to the waterfalls of her days in the womb.
Something inside her recognized this place! I believe babies' subconscious memories begin to form from the moment of conception and evolve throughout pregnancy and birth. So when children are born, they already have a subconscious memory and internal impression of the world! I truly believe that Rita was soothed as a little fetus in the womb waters by the same external sounds that soothed her mama, the sound of the river and waterfall. Upon revisiting these sights years later, she was able to recapture the same positive emotions felt during her time in the womb!
Peaceful pregnancy, happy childhood, contented adult….
I feel that the first step toward life long well being takes place in the womb. By fostering an environment filled with love and joy and working to reduce stress we can create happy memories with our child that they will then in turn carry with them throughout their lives. My hearts feel full when I see a glowing smiling pregnant mama and I think of the little one within who is also smiling!
May peaceful vibrations radiate from you to your children and back again! Let us change the universe with love, one child at a time!
Till next time, Be Well!
Jasmine
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on May 18, 2014
By Jasmine Wood
“Isn’t it funny, how a bear likes honey. Buzz, Buzz, Buzz. I wonder why he does…”
This is one of my favorite lines from my daughter’s bedtime book collection! (Classic Winnie the Pooh) It is one of those story lines that always gets my mind working. It makes me think of the famous philosopher, Rumi’s quote:
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.”
Intrinsically, we find ourselves drawn to those things that make us feel fulfilled, just as Pooh finds himself drawn to the honey pot time and time again!
As women, many of us find ourselves silently drawn by the call of motherhood!
Some of us are ready to heed the call: "Procreate now!" Others, take time and are slowly enveloped by our most innate desire to form a family and home. Before, I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I knew deep down inside that I wanted to be a mother. I did not know whether I would enjoy this all encompassing role or not!
This is where Rumi’s silent pull comes from.
It comes from deep down in the core of our being, the call mutes any worries the mind might carry, and leads you mind, body and spirit down the path of motherhood. Perhaps, there are many bumps in the road, or instead it may be smooth sailing from thoughts of conception, to labor and delivery.
The many paths we follow as women to reach motherhood are important!
The importance is in the journey, and not just the destination. The path we follow will stay with us, and guide us throughout the trying times of parenting! I have these moments in mothering where I feel so ancient, as if I can tap into the energy of all my female ancestors before me. Our collective knowledge and life force can be my guide if I allow myself to stay open and fluid.
I must remind myself to be like a tree, strong and grounded, but yet flexible and able to move with the winds of change!
I find the winds of change blow strongly in motherhood; just I have mastered one stage of development, my daughter is moving full force into the next stage and it is time for me to create new strategies toward mothering her.
To say my daughter keeps me on my toes is an understatement!
Our home is not static, but a dynamic force of love and intense cycling emotions. We have strong up’s and low down’s but, we move through these rhythm’s together, listening and learning what we can, every step along the way.
Till Next Time, Be Well!
Jasmine
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on May 11, 2014
Your baby does! And... I do! And we both want to make sure you love yourself. One way you can do that is by getting out of the house and being with other moms who have babies the same age as yours.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Mar 23, 2014
This morning I woke up a warrioress!
When I looked in the mirror my face looked the same, my hair was falling in its typical messy, uneven way, yet something had changed…. As I looked deeper into my own two eyes I could feel the change deep down inside me, deeper than my bones.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Feb 09, 2014
One day a hole opened up and through this hole fell Skywoman. As Skywoman fell, she left behind everyone and everything she had ever known. The only remnants of her whole world was a small bundle she clutched tightly to her chest as she fell, spiraling endlessly downward through darkness.
Mothering
One-stop resource for new parents now open at New Baby New Paltz
by Donna Bruschi on Nov 26, 2011
The more things change, the more things stay the same, it’s said. Breastfeeding babies has been around as long as there have been…well, babies to feed; and La Leche League has been around since the 1950s.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Jul 26, 2011
Independence Day, 2011. Today is a bittersweet day that marks the end of an era. 17 years ago, I was a week overdue with my first baby. I was feeling heavy and nauseous, and not from too many hotdogs or Pina Coladas, either. I wasn't in labor, but I was sure wishing I was. It was a Monday--just like this year.
Mothering
New Baby New Paltz Grand Opening Preparations 2011
by Donna Bruschi on Jan 20, 2011
Preparing for our Grand Opening at 15 Plattekill Ave in New Paltz, NY.
