Ask any parent and you will get a confusing list of "must haves" and "must avoids" This is because we all have personal preferences, and guess what? So does your baby! So how do you buy a gift for a baby you've never met? And equipment for a game you've never played? Here's a place to start:

As mothers we sit in a unique position! We have the ability to mold and shape mind sets for our whole family. Isn’t it almost always true that a happy mom is a happy family! Going beyond self improvement we can work with our family to create goals and mind sets we would all like to work on in the New Year, providing our children with a valuable framework for their future!

Children offer us heart-centered healing energy. Next time you find yourself feeling down, or caught up in past emotional trauma, take a walk with your child. Hold their tiny hand and allow yourself to be healed.

The quote of a wise individual comes to mind “There is no hurry bone in a young child’s body, you cannot rush a toddler.” In fact, when you try to rush a toddler it always seems to backfire and you spend even more time and end up with a frustrated child more times than not!

There is someone very special in my life who does not get enough credit in my weekly writings; he goes by the name of Papa Bear or Rita’s Daddy! This wonderful man is also my best companion and husband. Since we decided to have a child, our journey together has been full of pleasant surprises: how exciting and intoxicating it is to watch the man you love take on the role of father.

"Little Peter Cottontail hoppin’ down the bunny trail… " I will never forget Rita’s first spring and her amazing ability to spot bunny rabbits on our walks from as early as 6 months old, my newborn nature observer! She was exactly what I needed, a constant companion for all my nature observations and wildlife viewing expeditions!

Hello Mamas! I just can’t wait for the turn of seasons, I long for the type of days where I can just send little Rita out the door barefoot in a sundress! As the snow continues to melt and songbirds welcome the return of spring with a song, I am reminded that good things truly do come to those who wait. Signs of spring begin to surround us, buds breathe new life into the trees, Mother Maple begins her first flows of sugary goodness, all the while the Earth slowly moves those of us in the northern hemisphere closer to the sun. As northerners we are rewarded for our patience with spring, glorious spring!   But, alas it is still a long way to barefoot days, as spring rains make rain boots an absolute necessity for little explorers! The transition of late winter into spring is a time of hope. We have passed through the long cold winter and we are comforted by the knowledge that warmer more simple days are soon on their way. Days where runny noses and colds are few, while outside play dates and barbeques are plenty! Tiny fingers and toes touch new spring grass for the first time!  I will always carry with me happy memories of my daughter’s first spring, how exciting it was for this touch oriented little being to experience the wonders of nature first hand. Imagine the transition from a winter world filled with carpets, cabinets and electric heating followed by spring filled with fresh grass, cold stones, wet mud and emerging crocus flowers! There must be a burst of neurological activity as babies are able to explore the outside world for the first time. Spring is the mother of the seasons; she gives birth to summer which nourishes life through fall and winter! I find that the energies of spring strongly align themselves with the energies of mothering. So many of our mammalian relatives give birth in the spring, while simultaneously our plant allies blossom and fruit throughout the season, it is no wonder that my mothering instincts so too seem to flourish and blossom. Spring serves as a reminder to rejoice in the magnificence life has to offer. When I witness the explosion of life that spring embodies I am reminded how sacred the beginnings of life truly are.  It is no wonder that most ancient fertility festivals take place in spring! As I look at my daughter, I am humbled. The miracle of life resides in her and it is through her that I have been reborn! Through the journey of motherhood I have become a first hand participant in the miracle of life, the never ending spiral. As woman, as mother, I am sister to the spring, bearer of life, ever connected to all things. As I feel spring move through me I am reassured that I am one with the world, standing just where I am supposed to be. With two feet on the ground I embrace the path that motherhood has taken me on; spring reminds me to let loose, be free and enjoy the ride! Till Next Time, Sing a Song of Spring! Be Well, Jasmine

Ending breastfeeding is full of emotions for you and your baby. It can be hard to be OK with all of your own feelings around weaning, let alone articulate and share them with random strangers and rude relatives.

Recently, my 2 ½ year old daughter and I were at the library socializing with other children her age. A nursing toddler, a little girl, Rita’s size, caught her eye. She hurried over and asked “Are you nursing?” The mother replied “Yes.” politely, while the nursing toddler continued breastfeeding.

The commotion was suddenly halted by a sharp cry coming from our bedroom. At this point Rita, a very able-bodied walker, whom I had watched just moments ago wander through the doorway into our room, now stumbled back out, crying and holding her hand to her eye.

Opt-Out Black Friday-Small Business Saturday-Cyber Monday. Starts 12:00 am on Friday 11/25/22. Ends 11:59 pm on Monday 11/28/22. We at New Baby New Paltz live in a place of stunning natural beauty. We spend a lot of time in nature. The pandemic changed the landscape of shopping in-person. Many small businesses (like New Baby New Paltz) now have ecommerce catalogs and ship anywhere in the USA.  On this Opt-Out Black Friday-Small Business Saturday-Cyber Monday Sale weekend... 1. Opt Outside with your kids for fresh air, dirt, plants, trees, water, rocks and vistas during daylight hours. 2. Shop from home when it's dark, (which is most of the day.) 3. Shop small businesses as much as possible. 4. Choose businesses in your community, so the benefits echo out into your schools, churches, sports and scouts. Local small business supports programs that benefit you and the babies and children you love. 5. Choose sustainable products made of paper, rubber, cotton, bamboo, wool and wood, over plastics and polyesters. Plastics are forever and are now present everywhere, even in unborn babies. Let's work on stabilizing and cleaning this plastic mess, so our children have a healthier world.   Shop one of our local manufacturers: baby deedee, 20% OFF cozy and well thought out sleepwear. No coupon code needed. bumGenius Elemental Joy $5 each no coupon needed GroVia: 20% off - Coupon Code: GROVIABF20 All Nursing Bras and Tanks: Buy 2 get 1 FREE - Coupon Code: BLACKFRIDAYBLACKBRA

You are leaving childish ways behind and integrating them into daily life at the same time. You will give up all you hold dear. You will have more fun and laugh harder at silly things. You will feel your heart expand with love and then break a million times over again.

Temper tantrums are a cry for help. When having a meltdown, your child is totally overwhelmed and needs support. Unfortunately, few parents received support for their strong feelings as children or learned even basic skills for working through a tantrum.

The warmth of the last several weeks has me feeling hopeful that the relentless cold and darkness of the coming months will not happen after all!  The longer nights, shorter days, chill, and dampness depress me, and I find it hard to be happy, and even more, difficult to accomplish my daily tasks.

Who Loves YOU? Your baby, of course. Your partner, of course. Your friends... Of course! How about you? Do you love yourself? Most of us do, but probably not all the time. Maybe not even most of the time. Having a baby can exacerbate this lack of self love. Somehow, that little being brings out your worst: your impatience, your sadness, your anger, your low self esteem, your GUILT! You fall into the comparison trap. You see other mothers at their best. You watch TV shows and movies with "Mom Impersonators". Screen writers condemn and make fun of your very worst moments while highlighting the Instagram Moments. You start to think "That's how life really is". You start to think there is something wrong with you. Like when your baby cries and you can't soothe him? You start to think you have no milk, because your baby fusses at your breast, or because your breasts are small. You get anxious when your partner is due home, because you are still in your pajamas, breakfast is still uneaten on the table, and dinner is some sort of dim oasis, far on the horizon. On days like this, you just want your mommy. Not just any mommy... but June Cleaver, Mother Theresa and Aunt Jemima rolled into one. Someone who will Take Over, GET ALL THOSE THINGS DONE, and hold you while you cry. Honey... I got news for you. She's not coming. She doesn't exist and never has. If she ever did exist, she had staff doing her house work and probably drank to smooth the sharp edges of motherhood out of her mind. So what is possible when you are miserable?  A dose of acceptance. A little, or a lot of, "letting go." Making some new friends who understand where you are at, and how it is with a new baby. Some taking care of your needs and putting yourself first, at least some times. Most importantly, you have to ask for help. People want to help you. They really do. See all those gifts, cards, emails, likes, phone messages, and texts? That is because they want to help. They want you to feel proud of yourself, because they are proud of you. They want you to feel good about being a mother. Your job is to get over this mistaken belief that you have to do it all yourself. It's not easy. Help doesn't always come in the right sizes, shapes and colors. Sometimes it comes with strings attached. Or guilt. Sometimes it's like a bag of hand-me-downs. You have to sort through it and take what works for you. Sometimes, you have to be REAL specific about what you want ....with your mother...who didn't raise you, the way you are raising your baby. It's part of growing up and you can learn how to do it. She may grumble, or criticize (Painful!) but stick to what you want and she'll come around. Probably. It really does take a village to raise a child. And here we all are, in our little nuclear families with the two jobs, the big house and the big lawn and so much work to do on top of raising a baby. Something's got to give, and the easiest thing to go is your pride. Not your pride in yourself. That's important, but your pride in denying yourself a community that loves and supports you and your little family. Start small, say yes when people offer, and watch that community grow! "Look what we made, Baby! We made a community... and they LOVE us!"  

The creation of a child is a time when many parents take a renewed interest in the content of their diets, often starting in the supermarket. For a couple eating fast food-to-go, it may be their first time in a supermarket, with the intention of preparing a meal from food, not a box. Another couple might start buying Certified Organic food and "shopping the perimeter," where the fresh foods are. And others might pass by the supermarket, headed for the health food store. Shelf stable and highly convenient In the supermarket, you are surrounded by highly processed, salty and sugary foods with dairy, palm, soy and high fructose corn syrup, in nearly every product.  In the health food store, you are surrounded by highly processed, salty and sugary foods with sea salt, soy, coconut oil and organic cane sugar in nearly every product. In addition, you can also supplement your diet with bottles of natural vitamins and protein powders. Both places specialize in food products, not foods. They are causing a health crisis in our community. We are now overweight and malnourished at the same time.  Food products are altered by manufacturing, chemistry, or genetics to remove undesired parts like bran, moisture, living bacteria, or cholesterol from a food. Or they are fortified with extra protein, iron, Vitamin D, calcium or Omega 3’s, whether or not Mother Nature intended the original food to have those.  In addition, they are processed to have a shelf life of several months, or years. They are preserved. If you leave them outside on your deck, you will find they break down very slowly, if it all. Shelf life renders them nearly useless as nutrition for our finely tuned digestive systems. Let's take a radical departure from all that, and take a ride down to the farm. Unlike the produce at the health food store which gets flown in by jet from commercial farms in far away California, Washington, Mexico and New Zealand, this food gets wheel-barrowed or tractored in from the rolling hills surrounding the barn. This food has a small carbon footprint. And here are your farmers - It might be a couple with two little kids, or a couple of Ag students learning the ropes via mentorship, or it might be an extended family with Greats, Grands, Aunts, Uncles, Parents, Cousins and Kids. They might be Michelin gourmet with 3 kinds of mizuna and 11 kinds of basil, or they might be country with piles of tomatoes, peaches, plums, pears, zucchini and apples. They might be meat farmers with chickens, cows and pigs. Or dairy farmers with a line of sublime cheeses and ice cream. They might even be brewing, fermenting, or distilling their hops, grapes and barley into tasty beverages. Whatever they grow, they nurture and nourish with their experience, love and their sweat.  Whole foods look like how they come out of the ground, off the tree, or off the animal. An apple is an apple, no wax, all different varieties, juicy, flavorful and literally MOUTH WATERING. ShopRite apples aren't like this and Apple Fruit Rollups are definitely not at all like this. And I say, there are no bad vegetables, only bad cooks. Once you've eaten fresh from the farm, it's easier to switch from overly processed ‘food products’ to a diet rich in whole foods. Small farms rotate crops. They use manure and compost. They work the land, feed the land and then, let the land rest, so that it remains productive. Shopping from local farms reinforces community! Not only does shopping at the farm help your diet, but it also places your family back into the local food chain. Your hard earned dollars promote sustainable agricultural practices and stay in the community where they support Little League, the school Drama Club and food programs like Second Harvest. Living in the Hudson Valley of New York, we have a wealth of locally grown and raised foods. For our family's health and the strength of our local economies, let us all work together and make conscious food choices, supporting our local farmers.

My memory is imprinted with my mom dunking and swirling dirty diapers in the toilet. Ewwww.... I was born at the dawn of the ecology movement, the same year Rachel Carson published Silent Spring, a groundbreaking book about the devastating effects of DDT on birds, and other animals. My dad would become an environmental scientist who managed cleanup projects like Love Canal in NY. I was cloth diapered in big white diapers with pins and plastic pants, as were my brother and sister.   My mom didn't use cloth diapers because she was eco-minded.  She used cloth because everyone used cloth diapers. Disposable diapers were just being developed. She used disposables when we went on a cross-country trip in 1965. She described them as bulky white Pampers that you pinned onto a baby. She vaguely recalled pulling plastic pants over them. Then came the 70s and working moms When I babysat in the 1970s, Pampers were the best-selling diaper - disposable or other wise. They were wood-pulp fiber bulky diapers with an outer layer that was the same material they make plastic garbage bags out of. The fasteners were tape that had a removable paper backing. I would peel off the little tab and stick the diaper onto baby Jason, or his sister Courtney. Sometimes, I would get the angle wrong and try to peel the tape off, ripping the plastic cover, ruining the diaper.  Fast forward to 1994. It's Diaper Utopia! I am pregnant and everyone uses disposables! You can buy big cases with hundreds of diapers at Costco. There is a new diaper concept in 1994-- diapers have some kind of really absorbent gel, and they hold a lot of pee. They have a clothlike cover and they aren't crinkly with velcro tabs! They are trim-fitting and babies can walk easier. Bonus-- the new diapers take up less space in landfills. In addition, they are inventing all kinds of things like "composting diapers" and" incinerating diapers to create electricity" so that used disposable diapers won't take over the earth. I swallow this all, hook, line and sinker. Until...My Mother-in-Law's unwanted gift Fran, told me that when she was a new mother, someone had given her eight weeks of diaper service. A diaper service is where they wash your cloth diapers. She considered it to be the perfect gift! It was so much easier and much more sanitary (She's big on sanitizing.) than washing your own diapers! She was excited to find that they still had diaper services and had purchased eight weeks of diaper service for me, and for my pregnant sister-in-law. I was shocked and appalled. How quaint! Where on earth had she dug up this best-forgotten, shriveled relic of disgustingness?  Who in their right mind would willingly dunk and swirl dirty diapers? Who would stab their thumbs and baby with diaper pins? And listen to crinkly plastic pants? Are you kidding me?  I was polite.  Because of the Bridal Shower "Microwave Gift" incident, I kept my mouth shut and made my husband talk to her and... she didn't listen. About 6 weeks after my son was born, the phone rang. It was Tidey Didey. "Did you have your baby, yet?" I've never been good with snappy comebacks and that day was no exception. "Um, yeah."  "That's great and congratulations! Frances Bruschi has gifted you with eight weeks of diaper service.We normally deliver to Hicksville on Fridays. Does that work for you?"  "Um. Yeah, I guess so." I've never been very good with telling people "No." either. "Great! We'll see you Friday!" I felt kind of sick to my stomach.  On Friday, Diaper Dave arrived. He explained that my gift included 80 diapers per week, 6 diaper covers, (they were plain white Pro-Wraps with velcro tabs) a big white diaper pail and a nylon diaper pail liner.  And, all I had to do was put the nylon bag of dirty diapers out every Friday morning and I would find 80 more, bright white, sanitized, prefold diapers by lunchtime. He showed me how to diaper my son.  He assured me there was no need for dunking and swirling. I put the diapers in the nursery. I was curious. I took them out of the bag. They were very white! They didn't have any particular kind of smell. They smelled clean but I wouldn't say they smelled like soap, sunshine, chemicals or bleach, for example. I squished my son's fluffy butt. It was soft and hollow sounding. I stacked the diapers on the changing table, and waited for the next diaper change. Honestly, it seemed easy enough. I changed a few diapers, folding the prefold into the cover and pulling the velcro snugly around James' waist. They were a lot bulkier than disposables. They were also incredibly soft. They were almost as soft as his skin. And, by some amazing coincidence, they soaked up all his pee and poop.   A few weeks went by. I liked using the cloth diapers! I was curious about washing them. So I washed some of the diapers myself. And amazingly, they came clean! I researched and mail-ordered prefolds and covers which arrived just before the diaper service ran out. I had the washing routine down tight. I washed every other day.  I bought a new washing machine. I figured out how much money we were saving, and bought a new dryer too.  I've always been an idealist, a perfectionist and a reformer. I loved my new washer and dryer. It had a built in second rinse. Washing diapers was a breeze. Every other day, I put the dirty diapers in the washer, set the washer for rinse and spin, reset the machine to hot wash/double rinse, added soap and sat back while the machine did the dirty work. I moved them to the dryer, set it for 65 minutes on hot. I stacked them up: 30 white diapers. I didn't have to go to Costco anymore. I held my nose high as I walked past the perfumed disposables in King Kullen and CVS.  Once Upon A Child had a tiny store near me. One day, I saw a garbage bag full of Bumkins All-In-One diapers for $100 - I couldn't believe my luck! There were 4 sizes in the bag and enough in each size, for a full stash. I bought them, took them home and washed them. I ditched the prefolds, certain that I had found my true love.  But you know that's not how cloth diaper stashes work My friend, Donna, was showing me her latest purchase: Kushies All-in-Ones. Unlike my sometimes leaky, nylon-shelled Bumkins, Kushies had PVC covers and more layers of flannel. They had cute prints and colors. I had diaper envy. Of course, I quickly realized that I needed Kushies to make my life easier. I bought a 5 pack. AT LAST, I could stop buying diapers- I had enough diapers to diaper the next two or three babies. Except, next pregnancy, I had twins. I told all Gift Givers to buy me Kushies and received 2 matched sets of 36 small diapers and 36 large diapers. Now that I really was done buying diapers, I went off the deep end with cloth diaper reform. I move from Fan to Zealot The twins never wore disposable diapers after the meconium poop passed. Using All-In-One diapers was just easier than buying disposable diapers for an enthusiastic mother on a mission. I bought 40 washcloths to use instead of wipes. Of course, we used cloth when we traveled. When the washer went on the fritz, I packed up the kids and went to the laundromat for our every-other-daily adventure. I did feel weird until I saw a guy washing his oil-covered mechanics clothes - at least my dirt was organic in nature and didn't stick to the inside of the washer! Trash hadn't been such a big deal when we lived in a city with trash pick-up. Now, we lived in the country and took our trash to the transfer station. With three little kids, it was hard to take the garbage weekly. Most of our garbage was "clean" garbage - empty packages and wrappers. We composted food and rinsed cans and meat trays. I imagined the awful stench of two or three week-old disposable diapers sitting in the shed... I appreciated my washer and dryer and I used them for years. The washer lasted 12 years and the dryer 16 years. (I line dry a lot in nice weather.) Even though I didn't pay for the Kushies, I still saved thousands of dollars by cloth diapering three babies. Each baby uses about 8000 diapers from birth to potty. I don't have to tell you how much they cost! Come! Stand Around My "Free and Clear" Soapbox We don't really think about trash much because our garbage goes AWAY, somewhere. It doesn't sit in our backyard, unsightly, stinking up the place. But what if it did? When thrown away, 8000 diapers is about 30 large black plastic bags of non-compostable plastics, chemicals and bio-waste. When my children were done with diapers, the prefolds went under the sink for spills, dusting and cleaning. The Kushies fit into one white tall kitchen garbage bag and went to a friend who diapered her next two children with them. Continued evolution. In the 15 years since my twins have potty trained, cloth diapers have evolved even more. There really is a cloth diaper for every baby and every lifestyle. While I leaned towards one extreme, there is value in part-time cloth diapering, too. I share this story for your consideration and invite you to think about the many aspects of reusable diapers and how they might fit into your life. Every April, we host a Great Cloth Diaper Change. Please join us. We provide the cloth diapers. Even if you only change into one cloth diaper, that is one diaper less in our trash stream and more importantly it gives you an hour to consider a different way of life, creating a different world for your child to live in.

How can families who breastfeed get the most sleep every night? And protect their precious baby from harm, while doing so?Soon after beginning breastfeeding, nearly every breastfeeding parent has fallen asleep while breastfeeding, without regard to safety. The stark warnings against sleeping with your baby, fade into a haze of exhaustion. It is a dangerous way of dealing with a life and death problem, that has a fairly easy solution. Setting up a safe sleep environment for your whole family, including your baby, is easy.

  Stoic, unflinching--rifle-in-hand--warding off bears and wildcats. Remember Ma from Little House on the Prairie? Can you think of anyone more idealized? She had tons of patience, home-making skills, doctor, childbirth and child raising skills. She took care of cows and chickens, and fed her family. She quilted and made clothes for her family. She prayed and sang and taught her children. She was good at almost everything. But there was one thing she wasn't good at. Ma wasn't good at was making friends. Because she was a Pioneer Woman, wedded young to a man she barely knew, with 3 children before you could say Kindergarten. Ma and Pa set off with small children in a covered wagon walking across miles of prairie. She was the wife of an ambitious man who wanted land, and lots of it. And she didn't make friends mostly because there weren't any to be made. We don't really know how Ma felt about things. Her idealized story was told by her adult daughter many years later. Could she have been lonely? Of course she was! Loneliness is a common human experience. Could she have regretted her decisions? Most likely. Most people do. Was she ever a little 'postpartum?' Could be! She had a stong religious faith and in the years they were near a church, it was an integral part of her life. Faith is an essential piece of a heathy life. But her life was hard, especially by our modern day measure and mostly, she faced it alone because she had no choice. When we are going hours or days without being able to share your feelings or talk to another adult, we can feel a little postpartum and blue. We can feel overwhelmed by listening, problem solving and entertaining babies and children all day. And, sometimes...you are exhausted and something in you snaps! You may find yourself in tears in a full blown pity party because it's the umpteenth week of sick. Or yelling at your baby or child because they won't stop whining or crying. And, you feel ashamed. And, you don't know what to do about it or how to stop yelling at your poor child. And you don't know how to stop feeling so sad and overwhelmed. If we remember Ma, and all the other prairie women, so patient and stoic... then we feel worse because obviously something in us is flawed and awful because a sick and whiny child is not locusts or bears or masked marauders. It's just a whiny child. Ma didn't have a choice, but you do. Being in a funk doesn't necessarily mean therapy or medication, although that can be helpful. What you probably need most of all is some friends. Someone who has a child just your child's age who is going through what you are going through. A kind person who can listen nodding her head, offering support and empathy. Before kids, you may have been content with casual acquaintances and your partner. You also had time to drink deeply from your creative well with your work, hobbies and other enjoyable things. Now that kids are your work, your hobby and your everything you may feel like you are in a deep funk. A lot of it is because you don't have any friends.  When we feel connected, we don't feel lonely.  Friendship makes any challenge easier and more enjoyable. That's easy for you so say but...It's not so easy to find a friend! I've been hosting social circles for two decades. It's the truth--mothering in the suburbs can feel like you are in the middle of a a prairie in Nebraska. But we aren't in the middle of a prairie. Women and children are everywhere and nearly all of them feel lonely.  And many feel awkward doing anything about it. But to have a friend who is going through the same things as you is worth a hundred bottles of Zoloft. We all need friendship. Please take a more relaxed look at friendship. Start like it's dating - "Let's meet at Café Mama." Accept awkward - There was this time I went on a blind date play date and the mom answered the door, picked up some food off the floor and popped it into her mouth. Be flexible - If you and your mama soulmate love each other but your children don't play well, text each other often, but meet at the playground. Cultivate different kinds of friends - Prenatal yoga pals, baby friends, hike buddies and middle-of-the-night besties. You need all of them. Be proactive and be a friend - Give out your phone number, and follow or friend request on social media. Assume good intent -  if you get stood up, stay calm. Most likely a diaper blowout, a super-nap or rough night is to blame. Reschedule! Simplify. It's my heartfelt wish that no mama be lonely. I've done much of the ground work for you to find friends. A consistent schedule, age and interest matched and lots of publicity. Hundreds of women have come to New Baby New Paltz and made friends at Cafe Mama. Funny thing is that many of them have been modern day "Ma's" here with their ambitious husbands for a year or a career, because somehow moving makes is obvious that you need to make friends. But the groups only work if we all show up- so lets do this! Having friends really is that simple. My love to you and your family.     --Donna