Mothering
Mothering
What Do I Register For on my Baby Registry?
by Donna Bruschi on Apr 08, 2024
Ask any parent and you will get a confusing list of "must haves" and "must avoids" This is because we all have personal preferences, and guess what? So does your baby! So how do you buy a gift for a baby you've never met? And equipment for a game you've never played? Here's a place to start:
Mothering
How Long You Gonna Breastfeed that Baby?
by Donna Bruschi on Mar 06, 2023
Ending breastfeeding is full of emotions for you and your baby. It can be hard to be OK with all of your own feelings around weaning, let alone articulate and share them with random strangers and rude relatives.
Mothering
Becoming a Mother Means Stepping into the Uncharted Territories of Your Heart.
by Donna Bruschi on Jun 09, 2022
You are leaving childish ways behind and integrating them into daily life at the same time. You will give up all you hold dear. You will have more fun and laugh harder at silly things. You will feel your heart expand with love and then break a million times over again.
Mothering
Due Dates, Midwives and Old Wives Tales
by Donna Bruschi on Nov 30, 2021
Twins always arrive early. Right?
That's An Old Wive's Tale.
I look at my striated belly with the doughy soft puckers that have never flattened back into that gentle swell that used to be my belly.
If my twins had been early, I would not have this. At 36 weeks, my belly was a gigantic, unblemished orb. I had 1 or 2 stripes at 37 weeks.
Ar 39 weeks, my midwife and I were laughing at the incredible, angry red vortex radiating from my bellybutton. The stripes were something out of a science fiction story. Like a chick pecking the egg from the inside, it looked like my stomach was getting ready to rip open.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Sep 18, 2021
"I was the loneliest person in the world. My baby and I were spiraling down into a living hell..."
My baby cried all the time, refusing to be held by anyone but me. I cried all the time. The pain of the surgery amplified by cracked, burning nipples and the agony of frustration, sadness and betrayal.
And then it got worse.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Nov 08, 2020
Temper tantrums are a cry for help.
When having a meltdown, your child is totally overwhelmed and needs support. Unfortunately, few parents received support for their strong feelings as children or learned even basic skills for working through a tantrum.
Mothering
Nurturing the Child with a Cold
by Donna Bruschi on Oct 29, 2020
The warmth of the last several weeks has me feeling hopeful that the relentless cold and darkness of the coming months will not happen after all! The longer nights, shorter days, chill, and dampness depress me, and I find it hard to be happy, and even more, difficult to accomplish my daily tasks.
Mothering
How Much Does A Lactation Consultant Cost?
by Donna Bruschi on Oct 07, 2020
When you are researching, it may seem that using a free or low cost Lactation Consultant is the best way to start. Another way of thinking is that if you never breastfed before, an excellent Lactation Consultant will shorten your learning curve and prevent problems that will cost you even more money. But how do you know?
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Sep 26, 2020
By Donna Bruschi
You came to me as a small fish: frantic, untiring, unceasing
Swimming upstream to the place of your birth
Your only need, to reach the headwaters.
At that moment, I knew and surrendered
And a spring deep inside me sprang.
And I held you.
You asked me to fill a pond and I did.
In time, your incessant demands pushed forth a tiny stream.
Droplets skittering over my being, your essence seeping into my dust
Each day a new gush, another groove, cut and deepened
And still you spurted forth,
Carving me in ways I didn’t expect
You dribbled and babbled and always, I held you,
New shoots sprang up in your presence, needing tender care
The spring thaw always eroded.
Unearthing pebbles, then rocks
Carrying them, bump. bump.
While you gurgled and rushed, seeking the path of least resistance.
Gaining momentum, deepening, broadening
Overrunning your banks, flooding me
Gouging me, eroding my boundaries
Always shaping and cutting your own path.
Always following the path of least resistance
In your retreat, detritus and silt to be cleaned or absorbed
An aerial reveals switchbacks and impossible twists
That make no sense
Until you are walking the banks, walking the lay of the land.
An eddy formed, a deep swirling in my unceasing efforts to hold you.
I admired how the sun cracked into a million diamonds on your skin
You fell silent, biding your time, building strength, seeking an outlet
With a thundering roar as you exploded over the edge,
A thing of unimaginable beauty
My heart stopped as you went over
That unstoppable, terrifying, endless plummet
Only to land in another eddy, and me grasping, to hold you
Yet forward you moved, dragging rocks, trees, pieces of my heart
Your power fluid, spellbinding
I was awestruck, lovestruck…watching you go in your churning
You embraced, then sidestepped boulders
One day, I held you one last time and then, you were gone
The swells of the ocean pulled you in and you swam away.
I watched for awhile, sad and happy, adding my tears to the confluence
Grateful for the spring that still nourishes my heart
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on May 28, 2020
How can families who breastfeed get the most sleep every night? And protect their precious baby from harm, while doing so?Soon after beginning breastfeeding, nearly every breastfeeding parent has fallen asleep while breastfeeding, without regard to safety. The stark warnings against sleeping with your baby, fade into a haze of exhaustion. It is a dangerous way of dealing with a life and death problem, that has a fairly easy solution. Setting up a safe sleep environment for your whole family, including your baby, is easy.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Mar 14, 2020
Most of us have nightmares about our children dying or disappearing, and truthfully, sometimes it happens. Many moms have had miscarriages or a "lost twin." Some chose abortion only to find themselves grieving. Others suffer through a baby or child's cancer and say goodbye, over and over again, until the child finally passes.
Mothering
How Long Are You Going to Nurse That Baby?
by Donna Bruschi on Jan 26, 2020
Many mothers know the answer to this question before their baby is even born.
"A year"
"6 months"
"Until I go back to work"
"If I like it"
"Until my baby is 4"
It's a question with many answers.
Breastfeeding is feeding and so much more. Babies also nurse because they are tired, overwhelmed, lonely, thirsty, sick, in pain, bored, cold, hot, or 89 other reasons. Nursing at a mother's breast stimulates or calms all the senses. It creates and completes a safe habitat for a baby.
The obvious answer if you are a baby is "As long as I need to."
Most babies, if allowed, will wean without any help between ages 2 and 6 years. The normal course of breastfeeding offers many immune and health benefits, optimal nutrition (or complementary nutrition), and emotional security. It creates a bond between mother and child that is intuitive and intimate.
Mothers have reduced risk of breast and ovarian cancers and type 2 diabetes, have reduced fertility, have more stable hormone levels and many other benefits.
You may feel shocked or disgusted when you first learn about nursing toddlers or preschoolers.
Its just not something that happens often in the United States. It seems overwhelming when you are struggling to nurse a new baby, to think that you might have to do THIS for 5 more years.
As you continue nursing and it becomes more enjoyable, if you know someone else who breastfed longer, you tend to pay more attention to what your baby is telling you. When you learn that 17% of US children are obese, or someone in your family has breast cancer or lymphoma, you may also consider continuing, but the real change in your commitment happens when you are in a community that supports extended breastfeeding.
If you are planning on ending breastfeeding less than a year, you will find a lot of support, in our culture, for weaning.
Around 12 months, many babies lose interest in nursing because they are eating a lot of food, so they aren't hungry and they are busy learning physical skills like walking or climbing which take them away from mom.
At this stage, babies wean easily by substituting enough food, drink and other comfort measures. Not surprisingly only about 5% of American babies make it past this benchmark. If you encourage and offer the breast, you can keep all, except for the most independent baby, breastfeeding.
After one year.
There is a developmental shift that happens between 18 and 24 months where babies start returning to their mothers for comfort. if you are still nursing, you will most likely be very surprised to find that your previously independent toddler has started nursing as much as a newborn!
You may be alarmed and afraid that you have done something wrong. If you go with it, setting limits where necessary to keep yourself comfortable, this stage will usually pass into less frequent nursing over the course of a few months.
As the toddler grows, many mothers start to experience discomfort while nursing.
It might be physical because of gymnastic nursing moves, or a pregnancy. It might be emotional because of the greater intimacy demanded by the child.
Two and three year olds want to connect with you while they nurse. They claim your body as their own. They will stare at your body, insist on holding the other breast, have a fit if they can't nurse or hold the nipple or nurse in a particular position or side.
Probably there is nothing in your upbringing that has prepared you for this kind of relationship.
The closest experience you can probably compare it to is one with an adult sexual partner. When you do that, the toddler nursing relationship suddenly seems creepy and invasive. You just would not let a partner treat you that way.
That creepy feeling can be overwhelming.
It feels uncomfortable, really uncomfortable. Many women state: "I just want my body back." and quit.
Our American culture has totally skewed our definition of normal loving behavior. Intimacy in America is defined by candle-lit dinners, lingerie and sex. Many of us are not comfortable with our bodies and body fluids. We are not comfortable with others touching us, even in positive loving ways.
We are not comfortable with how much cuddling and touching babies need. We are not comfortable being a dyad with our babies.
Pay attention to what is happening when you feel uncomfortable.
Is it when you are home, alone, relaxing with your baby? Or is it when you have to answer questions about why your toddler is nursing.
Is it because you have a long list of things to do? Is it because of something that happened to you when you were a child?
Is it because you are pregnant or tandem nursing?
There are no right or wrong answers.
Extended nursing is a journey into yourself and what makes you tick. It consistently points you in the direction of having to be a more patient, compassionate, loving person.
Sometimes it makes you so angry or impatient that you can't take it anymore. You don't believe you can find any more patience.
When this happens, one thing that always helps is to look at your nursing toddler as a baby trying to grow up. Very few mothers set out to nurse a 4 year old, but they keep going because they see the baby in their child. That's good! Consciously relaxing during a breastfeeding session can help you be be that person.
Always remember that your body is your body.
You must have some rules about what happens to it. When you have this kind of clarity, your child may fight it, but eventually, they will do it your way. Nursing is too important to them and they don't want to lose it completely.
Another thing that helps is to have a friend or a mentor who can listen to you when you are ready to quit, which may be happening hourly or daily! They help remind you that all babies wean on their own when they are ready; that every minute you breastfeed really matters to your child; that this is a relationship between you and your baby; and that you can quit if you want to.
Babies take a long time to grow up.
Time plays weird tricks on your mind. Some things happen fast and some happen slowly. A nursing relationship creates a person who is compassionate and loving. It gives you an easy way to handle many, many situations.
It helps you to pay attention to your child and what they are needing. It makes it easy to understand and talk to your children even when they are older.
My job is to encourage and support you to nurse your baby. I would be thrilled if each and every one of you suddenly decided to nurse until your child was done. I know that's not going to happen, because many of you are going to have situations where you are going to think: "It is impossible to continue."
My question to you is: "Why is that?" and whatever you answer is the right answer.
My love to you and your family....
Donna
845-750-4402
Mothering
You're OK - Be a Better Mom Without Doing Anything!
by Donna Bruschi on Jan 19, 2020
One year old Maya was taking her first steps when she abruptly face-planted, startling herself and bumping her head. Her daddy scooped her up and snuggled her in.
"You're OK! You're OK. You didn't hurt yourself. You are fine. You did it! You walked!"
Mothering
The Myth of Sleeping Through the Night
by Donna Bruschi on Jul 20, 2019
Waking every hour or two to nurse ALL NIGHT LONG. Ugh. Whether you do it for a few days because your baby is teething or have been doing it for months or years, it takes a toll on you and you may wonder if you are doing the right thing.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Jun 29, 2019
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Spray bottles, baby pools, water tables and buckets of water all work for splashing and exploring the cooling and magical qualities of water. Is there an easier pastime than cooling oneself off on a hot day in a local pool, swimming hole, lake, or river? Our area is full of natural places to take a dip, wade and play.
Mothering
The Ten Barriers Of Breastfeeding
by Donna Bruschi on Jul 01, 2017
There are 10 barriers or challenges in breastfeeding that can get between a breast and a baby. The Big Latch On is a worldwide event that addresses most of these issues.
Mothering
New Baby New Paltz Grand Re-Opening 2016
by Donna Bruschi on Jan 07, 2016
What if you could park once and shop at both your local baby boutique and the grocery store? Now you can! Check out the Grand Opening of the newest New Baby/New Paltz, sister shop to New Baby/New World in the Water Street Market in New Paltz. The celebration takes place on Saturday, January 16, 2016 from 1 to 4 p.m.
Mothering
New Paltz Business Owner Collecting Baby Carriers For Refugees
by Donna Bruschi on Dec 21, 2015
A New Paltz business owner is working to help mothers with small children fleeing conflict in the Middle East. Donna Bruschi, owner of New Baby New World in New Paltz, is collecting baby carriers for mothers who are Syrian refugees.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on May 11, 2014
Your baby does! And... I do! And we both want to make sure you love yourself. One way you can do that is by getting out of the house and being with other moms who have babies the same age as yours.
Mothering
by Donna Bruschi on Jan 20, 2014
My mom (who had three kids, and apparently amnesia) asked more than once how I could stand it when all three kids were all crying. I would said, "This is nothing. I don't think it's bad until I'm crying."
